Tag Archives: cranky bitch

All The Things I’m Not Saying

Blog posts come. They come in the shower, I swear, one contained in each tiny pinprick of hot water. They come when I am nodding off in the recliner, ‘doing some reading’ while Fresco floats off to napland in his … Continue reading

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Under the Wire

An hour ago, Saint Aardvark said, “You have three and a half hours! Before the end of the day! To post something!” “Enh,” I said. I was on the couch, drinking wine, flipping channels on the TV. “Hm?” he said. … Continue reading

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The Eight Stages of Sleep Deprivation (and One Action Item)

Fresco woke up at 5:30 this morning. Trombone at 5:45. We ignored them until 6:30. Stage 1 Anger: Holy shit what is WRONG with these children are they sick? Are they trying to destroy me? It’s not even six AM … Continue reading

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Notes from Mother’s Journal: Burn Those Shoes

Along with dolls that whine at you and Kraft Dinner Flavoured Crackers, today’s thing I don’t understand: squeaky shoes for children. Not shoes that squeak; I used to have a co-worker whose shoes were creaky, like an old door, which … Continue reading

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Wanted: Four Year Olds

I need some kids. Some four year old kids. Five year olds are OK too. I need one for every day of the week so Trombone has someone to play with. Our best neighbour boy went away for the whole … Continue reading

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