Omigod, You Guys!

All day I’ve been thinking, what to post, what to post, damn, I am not going to complain about how hard it is to write in a damn blog everyday because – come on? People are out there, feeding starving children and discovering the cure for diabetes and I’m all: wah! blogging is hard!

And I’ve had some time to think, too, because it was an inside day, just me and the baby and we sat around some and he rolled around some – well not all the way over, just onto his side and then back again – and he napped some, which is good because he has NOT been getting enough zzzzz’s lately and neither have I but today his gums weren’t bothering him as much I guess because he was tired (probably from the tylenol we gave him yesterday) and quite friendly and mellow.

We’ve been practising napping in the crib during the day this week and the other day he did it for an hour, today for 20 minutes. From week 5 – present, he naps longest and bestest if he’s on another human’s body. Nighttime sleeping in the crib isn’t a problem, he’s all over that but daytime he’s gotta be on a body. I need this to change so we’ve been practising, but this afternoon I figured: hey, he is getting tireder and tireder with every nap that ends prematurely because he somehow magically, like the fairies are whispering in his ear, wakes up after he’s put in the crib. So I gave him a full on, across the knees, head-in-the-crook-of-my-elbow nap. And he slept for 2.5 hours, during which time I could have been thinking of something to post but I wasn’t. I got distracted by other peoples’ blogs and by the news and by this whole “Clay Aiken touched Kelly Ripa and she told him not to and now Rosie O’Donnell told America that Clay is gay!” thing which just amuses the heck out of me because I actually thought Clay Aiken was Dana Carvey doing, like, a performance art thing, but whatever, I didn’t think of anything to post, but I thought up some dinner – chicken thighs and carrots in a roaster plus a couple of baked potatoes and they were good! and even better because I was hungry after the 45 minute nursing and rocking it took to get Trombone to sleep tonight.

After he was asleep and I’d eaten my dinner, I thought, OK now I am going to WRACK my brains, what’s left of them and post something even though it’s 8:15 and I will only be conscious in the “typing-able” sense of the word for another 45 minutes but suddenly I remembered that we are out of cookies — I know! Tragedy on wheels! I quickly whipped up some cookies and threw them in the oven BAM and Saint Aardvark was talking to his brother on the phone just as I did and then WAHHHH went the baby as he’s been doing every night this week – goes to sleep as usual and wakes up after an hour, screeching, then again after another hour, then again and I lose track sometimes, this is partly why we are so tired, all of us, so up I went and scooped him out and rocked him a bit more and he was mostly asleep but having some kind of nightmare – I wonder if maybe it’s overstimulation during the day that leads to him having to sort of “decompress” at night and process all the information but I suspect I will never know because Babies Do That.

I headed back downstairs where thankfully SA had taken the cookies out and they are perfect, warm and gooey and chocolate chippy and I’m still eating for two, you know, only the 2nd me I’m eating for is 2x as big as he was when I was pregnant so YAY more cookies for me! Ate one and will probably have another and those big posts I should be editing and the ideas I should be having will just have to wait another day.

Posted in bloggity!, food, trombone | 4 Comments

What I Did Today

…instead of editing to palatable size one of the several overgrown posts I’ve started in the last few days.

30 Seconds Theatre Presents: Trombone and the Teether of Doom
(you’ll want to download this and go get a coffee. it’s a big’un)

Posted in trombone | 1 Comment

All the Things She Doesn’t Say

Here are some phrases Priya Ramu might have used to end her interview with two gentlemen who are developing an idea – something to do with binners, garbage collection and business improvement in the Downtown Eastside, I wasn’t really paying attention – after she said, “…it’s an interesting idea…”

“…I look forward to hearing more about it.”
“…I wish you well with it.”
“…I hope things work out for you.”

What she said:

“…I’ll be interested to see if it actually gets off the ground.”

It’s that “actually” that really pushes it from cautiously optimistic to bitchy, don’t you think? And that is the magic of Priya. It’s not all her words – just some of them, combined with that tone (look at the picture, above, again and imagine her saying anything to you, even as innocuous as “Hello,” without it sounding bitchy) that make you think, did someone tie a bag of poop to her chair? Or what? At least, it makes me think that.

Posted in people | 3 Comments

I Know I’m 5 Years Behind

I have never until this moment seen Dora the Explorer. What an odd show.

Does the whole “Dora asks the children out in TV land a question and then waits for the answer” thing work? Cause in the absence of any preschoolers it’s just an awkward silence in our house.

Also, I think the show is not bilingual because of any wish to help children learn more languages but because when you’re writing songs it seriously increases your ability to make rhymes if you use two languages. Assuming you don’t use English and, y’know, Russian.

“Come on/let’s go/Vamanos!
or
“Come on/let’s go/ препятствуйте нам пойти!
(according to an online translator. May actually mean: “Give me a Dr. Pepper” for all I know.)

Peep and the Big Wide World, on the other hand, which M. Gecko has been telling me about for a squidzillion years, is indeed very cute and funny and features a purple duck. Today, he built a SNOW DUCK! (The purple duck, not M. Gecko. As far as I know.) I built a snow duck once.

Yes, I’m 32. Shut up.

Posted in television | 6 Comments

Observed

– Three men in their 20s, clustered around the trunk of a white sedan at 10:15 am. They had the surreptitious manner of those who sell drugs but when I passed by I saw into the trunk. And in that trunk I saw several boxes of Stars Wars figurines. Lemme tell y’all what it’s like. Being male, middle class and white.

– Two grandparents absolutely delighted to be wheeling their tiny grandchild around the neighbourhood in its huge, like bigger than the sedan referenced above stroller. They assessed Trombone with sharp eyes and found him to be old enough to be no competition for their wee sprog so greeted us with a chipper “Good morning!” I thought fondly back to when his own grandparents wheeled Trombone around the neighbourhood, greeting everyone and bursting with pride.

– Two elementary school aged boys engaging in a screaming contest in the schoolyard at lunchtime. Neither of them smiled or laughed when the contest was done. They just kept staring at each other.

– In the Shoppers Drug Mart at the Most Depressing Mall in the Universe, only one giant, musical stuffed toy remains in the window. On Saturday there were several. I hope against hope that the rest have been put out of sight by some savvy employee, rather than sold to people who will give them to their children for Christmas. There are lions and elephants. Trombone most emphatically does not want one.

– One disheveled man at Safeway who spent his time in line reciting “See a penny/pick it up/all day long/you’ll have good luck.” He dropped his lucky penny on his way out and then called out, “Have you killed a communist today?” before making his exit.

Posted in outside | 3 Comments