I followed the link to this news story because the headline was about sea ducks. San Fran oil spill hurts Canadian sea duck population, it read. But when I read the first paragraph, as follows: An oil spill in San Francisco Bay two weeks ago killed and oiled thousands of birds, with a Canadian sea duck among the largest casualties, I re-wrote the headline in my head to read:
CANADA’S LARGEST SEA DUCK MURDERED IN SF BAY!
with a subheadline,
Incident not related to terrorists or organized crime. And we should know, said officials from Canada’s Department of Public Safety.
And then I waited for my call from The Onion. But it never came.
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