When Married Bliss Attacks

10 minutes ago. Saint Aardvark is looking in the fridge for lunch items. I am on the couch, drinking coffee.

SA: Can I take this potato salad?
Me: Yep
SA: Cool. You can have the left over bean whatnot.
Me: OK
SA: OH! And I’ve got leftover potato soup at work! YES!
Me: …little heavy on the potatoes?
SA: “Hello, peanut gallery? I’d like to return your shipment…”

– 30 seconds later –

SA starts muttering to himself.

SA: Well, as long as we’ve got one then it’s OK and we have got one so it’s OK
Me: One what?
SA: Cup for Trombone. He only needs one cup and I think we have one clean. Maybe even two. Or three. (holds up three fingers for emphasis)
Me: Try the cupboard.
SA: (blank look)
Me: The cupboard? Or the other cupboard? I think I saw some in the other cupboard.
SA: I’m looking in the cupboard where I put the cups. There are only ‘novelty cups’

I walk over to the kitchen, where the first cupboard door is open, displaying no cups. Open second cupboard door. Gesture to cups in cupboard

Me: CUPS.
SA: OH! This isn’t the cup cupboard, though. I put all the cups in this cupboard.
Me: No, you’re right. That’s why I was surprised to see them there yesterday. go back to couch
SA: joking Why’d you put them THERE? That’s not the right cupboard!
Me: YOU put them there. That’s why I’m surprised you couldn’t find them. take another swig of coffee. Resume typing.

SA: You’re going to remove my head in my sleep, aren’t you?
Me: Maybe.