Assorted Notes

At the Skytrain station today a nice man handed me an oat bar. I think there should be free snacks at all the Skytrain stations. All the time. Get rid of the viral paperhawkers and replace them with viral snackhawkers.

My new band name is either:
The Snackhawks
or
The Megafaunic Foo.

Speaking of bands, last night Saint Aardvark and I toured the hospital where I will deliver babby, barring unforseen circumstances. And in our tour group? The former lead guitarist of The Rising Suns and his wife, also with child. Wack!

Don’t worry: if this means nothing to you, it’s just because you didn’t attend UBC with me and my friends in 1991 – 7. Yes it took me 6 years to get a BA. Shut up.

So: those who have recently delivered at BC Women’s Hospital. Got any tips? Whose butt do I have to smack to get one of the swank birthing suites on the top floor? The ones with the skylight and the fridge in the room? The ones that look like TV?

Got to work this morning, finally, sigh, how I hate commuting, and checked my email. Gmail advised me of this story about a new Stilton Cheese Perfume. In that I used to smell like cheese and this is the CHEESEblog, this is highly relevant and I thank gmail for alerting me. (Sometimes I think gmail knows me better than I know myself.) My suggestion if you want to smell like the – allegedly “mellow” – blue cheese named Stilton is to save the $50 you would have spent on perfume and get a job in a cheese shop for a day. The smell of cheese? Takes years to wash off.

Here are some highlights from my past few days at work (only 13 more to go!):

Interviewer (me): What would you say is one of your weaknesses as an employee?
Interviewee: Hmmm. Well, I’m late sometimes. I have trouble getting out of bed.

People! If someone asks you what your weakness is? Don’t tell the truth! Make something up, something that could be CONSTRUED as a weakness but isn’t really. Like: I’m addicted to helping old ladies across the street. Or: sometimes I get so busy filing I forget to take my lunch break! Am I the only person who lies like a fiend in job interviews?

I also enjoyed this exchange:

Me: What is your relationship to the candidate for whom I am checking references by calling you?
Reference: I’m her half-sister.

No, no, no.

On the bright side, there were doughnuts in the kitchen and I ate one that looked like a fritter but, in a thrilling turn, was stuffed with caramel goo! WOW! I love caramel goo.