Wherein I Become A Believer in Wet Sock Hocus Pocus

The other day I was at Save On Foods just for a change of scene and they were selling buckets. So I bought one. You never know, right? The only time I remember that we don’t own a bucket * is when I am about to clean something and then I can’t because – no bucket! and what I don’t need is more disincentive for cleaning things. Here, this red bucket is $2.50, take it home.

* actually we DO own a bucket but it became an Outside Bucket last summer, meaning it got sand in it and dirt and toddler stuff and then Trombone took off the handle of the bucket and decided it was his antlers and he was going on a pony ride so we hid them so he wouldn’t put his eye out. Basically, we don’t own a bucket.

I bought the red bucket on Wednesday. Naturally I did not have a chance to clean anything between Wednesday and last night but I did use my bucket. I used it to soak my feet in hot water right before bed so that I could try out the Common Cold Cure I wrote about yesterday.

First, I heartily recommend soaking your feet in hot water before bed. Even if you don’t follow through with the rest of the ritual, hot water on your feet is darn nice.

So there I was, perched on the edge of the bed, feet in the bucket, Saint Aardvark laughing his ass off at me. Then I put on two cotton socks soaked in cold water. SA laughed harder. You probably have never tried to put wet socks on your feet. It is hard to do and – I have no doubt – very amusing to behold. I put my new, handknit, wool socks over the wet socks and hopped into bed with the new book I am reading, Through Black Spruce by Joseph Boyden. My feet were toasty warm under the covers. (When I got up at 10:30 to feed Fresco, they were still a bit damp and it did feel pretty unpleasant when I got out from under the covers but it was short-lived discomfort. And by the time I rose for the day at 6 am, the socks and my feet were dry.) I was reading along thinking what a good book! holy crap! and suddenly I realized that I could breathe clearly and I was very tired. I put my head down on the pillow and that was that. It was about 10 minutes between the moment of sock application to the moment of clear nasal passages.

Yes, I am Ultra Scientific.

Now the night before, it took about 45 minutes lying propped on two pillows, tossing and turning, to get one nostril clear enough so I could sleep. And then 45 minutes again each time I woke up in the night. (3 times) But last night, my head was clear all night long. I truly thought I would wake up cured.

I did not wake up cured. I still have a bit of a cold but it is very mild. I was expecting to be afflicted like my parents, who have had this cold for 10 days and my kids who have had it for 7 and counting.* I know that I feel better today in large part because I got more sleep than the night before. But I got more sleep because I could breathe better. And I am pretty sure I could breathe better because of the socks.

Laugh all you want. I’ll be over here, enjoying some delicious food that I can taste because my nose isn’t stuffed up.

* and I also fully acknowledge that I should be knocking wood right about now. Or at least not telling the Internet how awesome I feel, lest I wake up tomorrow with oh I don’t know, is there something I haven’t had in a while? Strep throat?

See how I’m taunting the Internet gods? Come on. Give me strep throat. Tonsillitis. I DARE YOU. I HAZ BUCKET.