Some Notes from The Day That Marks Only One Year Till The 2010 Olympics!

Folks, I was wrong. Thanks for your wishes but it is NOT my birthday. It is officially ONE YEAR TILL THE 2010 OLYMPICS! ™ Day and I can suck it.

Now I know how those kids who are born on Christmas feel. First I had to share my birthday with Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. Now it’s all “ooh where’s the torch? what does it look like?” Really? It’s a torch, people. It’s a big fucking candle. You know, like the one on my BIRTHDAY CAKE.

On the bright side, now that my birthday is canceled, I think I get to stay 35 forever!

(Or do I get to stay 34? I would have turned 35 today, if it had been my birthday. I don’t know. I’m sick. Leave me alone.)

I got the best present ever. I got Saint Aardvark to stay home sick with me. Well, he is sick. As am I. And it takes two sick adults to wrangle our boisterous, healthy children. So we snorfled and eye-watered and whined together.

I got the second best present ever, too. My awesome mother-in-law knit me socks. They are wool, which means I can try to cure my common cold with the following method:

– soak feet in hot water
– soak cotton socks in cold water and put on feet
– put wool socks over cotton socks
– go to bed.

I’ll let you know how it turns out. I actually googled this remedy on purpose because I saw it on tv months ago, on the cable show “Urban Rush.” But I couldn’t remember what order the socks went in and which ones should be cooled or heated. Thank goodness for the Internet!

There is not much more to say about today.

Except here is what I looked like today, 35 years after the exact moment of my birth, which just happens to be the same moment exactly one year before Gordo or the Queen or whatever says, I pronounce these Games OPEN!

It’s our time to shine. I need to shine! Can I get a 2010 makeover or something?

PS: I love all of you people. Thank you for the wishes and greetings and emails and for helping me to focus on consuming my cupcakes. Because of you, there are only three cupcakes left of a possible 16! I am an Olympic Cupcakean!