More Clothes & Junk

Did I ever tell you guys that I love the word “junk” as a euphemism for genitals? No? True. Co-worker A used to use it all the time and then a couple of weeks ago Saint Aardvark was telling me about a podcast he listens to that is all about home brewing beer and apparently it is quite a lewd and rude podcast and one of the hosts mentioned that he was talcum powdering his junk, it was so hot in the studio (right, SA?) and I just howled and howled. I think it’s perfect for boys or girls (yes, I am going to teach my children the correct words, this is adult-euphemism only); non sex-part specific and not truly derogatory, because we all have a junk drawer, right? But really it’s full of valuable stuff, or else we’d toss it? I am going to use “junk” as much as I can.

Unless someone posts a comment telling me about how it was originally used to refer to homeless puppies addicted to heroin in which case I might feel bad enough to go back to saying “bits.”

I did a preliminary scouting mission for clothes on Sunday; I am going to a wedding in a month and though it’s not black tie or anything, I don’t have anything remotely appropriate to wear. Hell, as I mentioned, I don’t even have a pair of jeans I like right now. Having not been shopping for non-maternity clothes in quite some time I was (not really) shocked to discover that sarah is right; empire-waisted clothing is everywhere. And it really DOES make me look 4 months pregnant. The alternative this season appears to be sweater dresses and while I can rock a sweater dress till your mohair sheep come home, I do run hot blooded as a rule and in a festive party-type environment where alcohol is being served, I run my own internal combustion engine.

Does that even make sense? I like how it sounds. Junk!

Today the search continues, with a possibly doomed-from-the-start expedition involving me, two kids & my mother. What else are you gonna do on a Tuesday?

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