Thursday Random Three

1. Locally (perhaps nationally): All manner of ice cream on sale at Safeway. Make haste.

2. For two years I have been watching “Scrubs,” once one of the funniest series on TV, sink like a poop-encrusted stone and tonight, with its season finale, I finally saw it hit bottom. Not a single redeeming moment graced the 20 minutes (plus endless KFC and Budweiser commercials) I just spent with a pained grimace on my face. It’s kind of like the book I’m reading right now which is written almost entirely in awkward dialogue and yet I keep reading it because I have to get to the end. Also at 3 am I can pick it up and graze through it while I nurse, uh, dammit, still no nickname. The baby who periodically forgets where my boobs are. Even though they are the size of his head.

Side note: Today I actually thought, about my infant, why can’t you just be rational like your brother. I’m thinking: if your toddler seems “more rational,” period, it’s time for a beer.

Not a Budweiser, either. The commercial suggested that I might find that it is my new favourite beer. I am thinking that this is unlikely.

3. Saint Aardvark read to me from the Internet today, “ LONDON, Ont. — A Tim Hortons employee fired Wednesday for giving a free Timbit to the child of a regular customer has been rehired. Nicole Lilliman, 27, a single mother of four in London, Ont., was reinstated Thursday after intervention by the chain’s head office. In a terse press release, the company blamed an overzealous manager for the firing, which threatened to become a public relations nightmare as the story gained traction in the media Thursday.”

“Huh,” I said. And then, “boy oh boy.”

“I shit you not,” he continued, “this article on the Globe’s website has 796 comments.” He turned his laptop screen so I could see.

“You should read them all,” I said, “you should spend the rest of the day reading them. Are you a terrorist? Do you hate donut freedom?”

He ignored me.

“This is important! How else can you make your opinions known, make a real difference to Canadian law, make sure Those Bastards Don’t Win? You have to engage at the Globe and Mail level! Did you know that our Prime Minister, the Most Honourable Stephen Joseph Harper reads the comments at the Globe and Mail website and crafts public policy based on what he sees!”

“803,” he said, “the comments tally just went up to 803.”

“HURRY AND JOIN THE CONVERSATION!” I shouted. And then the baby woke up and we played a fun round of Eat!, which consists of my aiming him at my boob and then saying, “Open your mouth. Nope, wider than that. Nope. Wider than that. Opppppppennnnnn…..there you….nope, wider than that.”

I bet he’d open wide enough for a Timbit.