Dear BC Ferries

Well, since you asked for my feedback:

I would like to suggest that a less vague instruction than “arrive no more than 60 minutes and no less than 30 minutes before the sailing you have paid money to reserve a spot on” be offered at the time of booking. It could also be plainer that should you show up less than 30 minutes before the scheduled sailing, your reservation is not worth the dog poop you just stepped in and now you are hanging out for the rest of the day on the highway with annoying European tourists who have flags wrapped around themselves. With a porta-potty a few feet back, there.

Because we arrived TWO MINUTES less than 30 minutes to the departure area in Nanaimo this afternoon (because of traffic leading to the terminal) we were put in the regular lineup. DESPITE our reservation for the 3 pm sailing we sailed at 7:20. What a fucking joke. Either have dedicated space for reservations (and make that space available ONLY to people who have paid extra to reserve, regardless of whether they are being penalized for being a couple of minutes later than 30 minutes before the sailing) or don’t allow reservations at all. Sitting in that fucking lineup for four hours, watching cars zoom by in the reservation lane simply because they had reserved for a later sailing made me so angry that here I am, at home, still spitting mad 8 hours later.

Not to complain incessantly, but once I got on the ferry, the only seats were at the back, facing the setting sun – which I do love, but having spent four hours sitting on the highway in 30 degree heat, I was not so keen to embrace – and some live entertainment in the form of an amplified celtic duo playing two rows away from my head. I like celtic music. Fiddles and guitars make me swoon. But not today. You want to make the ferry ride more “entertaining?” (because ocean, mountains, blue sky and other passengers aren’t entertaining enough, I guess?) How about instead of paying that duo to play, put more money into reorganizing your so-called reservation service and then open up a goddamn pub on that boat. By the time I was safely in my seat, I wanted a cold beer so bad I nearly bit off the head of a small child, despite her adorable clapping in time to “Whiskey In the Jar.”

Usually I travel as a foot passenger but I don’t think I’ll be able to stomach a ferry ride at all for quite a while. I think for future trips to the island, I will take the money I would have spent on reservation fees, overpriced burgers and bottles of water and spend it on the Helijet.

(No, don’t even get me started on the Hurler – I mean HARBOURLynx. Damn that boat can surf.)

BC Ferries: You done been smote.

Posted in Goddessa Smites You | 7 Comments

Quick Question

Am I crazy, or is the phrase: “Good communications skills” just plain wrong?

(Doesn’t have to be an either/or, I guess. I am totally crazy.)

But is it wrong? At first blush, I think it’s so very wrong (and so very fucking funny, as such) but then I didn’t know how to spell prerogative for the first 15 years of my life so I can accept that it might be me who is wrong. (Might be I who is wrong? Might be I who am wrong? Ack!)

Anyone?

Posted in outside | 1 Comment

Assorted Etc. with Top Hits!

Reality Shows I am Waiting for:

Road Rage: a battle for the finish where the finish is another red light and the weapons used include the car horn, the stereo, the clutch and the cell phone headset. But mostly the car horn. Because people pay attention and follow your directions when you honk at them. Especially when you LEAN ON THE HORN for no good reason. SEE HOW THAT HURTS? IT HURTS because I’m yelling. IT HURTS ME WHEN YOU HONK! STOP IT! There are people outside my apartment who honk. That’s why I’m screaming. Just so you know.

Pimp My Pimp!: where those dudes who sit drinking coffee with their legs spread wide and the crotch of their jeans hanging to their ankles and big gold dollar sign necklaces around their necks get taken to Pimp College and forced to wear fuzzy hats and carry magic sticks. Because isn’t that what “pimp” means? Fuzzy hats?

Cheer my Hottie!: where the sad, sad girls with the non-ringing cell phones and the limp-from-the-heat hair and the slightly chipped pedicures pout competitively for a chance to win a chance to win a date with a newly pimped pimp from Pimp my Pimp! What they don’t know is: it’s not just a date!

I just saw a commercial for a Furby. Are they back? From where?

I have been listening to radio paradise at work again this week. I have phases – from time to time all I want at work is Soundgarden or Wheat or J.Lo. Yes, it depends quite a bit. But from other time to other time, Radio Paradise makes me SO HAPPY I WANT TO HONK!

um.

So Happy.

I am so happy because of artists like Madeline Peyroux who has covered Leonard Cohen here, which can sometimes be good and sometimes be not good but in this case, I think it’s good. I don’t generally like it when (air quotes) Jazz artists (end air quotes) cover anything, especially Tom Waits and Leonard (see: Holly Cole; Michael Buble; whassername who married Elvis Costello *he was mine, really he was*) but everytime I hear her sing, I stop what I’m doing and stare at that picture. I really dig this woman’s voice.

Of course, I also loved Maroon 5 for 20 days or so. Look how that turned out.

But just look at this playlist . Isn’t it nice?

Dave Grohl has impossibly white teeth. But I still want to hug him. See what I mean?

OK by now it should be obvious that I am watching television while I write this. And apparently the Backstreet Boys are not rotting in a pit somewhere but have re-formed to make a song that, I swear, I have heard before and thought it was one of those crappy fake Nickelback bands. Wow. ANYONE can be a crap rocker!

And also. Shawn Desman. There is something very wrong with this young man.

1. He’s the one who sang about rocking it in the T-Dot. With some of the worst dancing ever. I should know. I am a terrible dancer.

2. So then he made the song about dancing. And someone remixed it.

3. Then he made the song with the keyboard where he presses the keyboard keys with an intensity that should be reserved for the Man Who Sits by the Red Phone in Case it Rings to Alert Him To Nuclear War. The song is called “Let’s Go” and unless you see the video you will not know what I mean by Shawn Desman. Apparently, “this fusion of classic and contemporary elements is what Desman calls “Progressive R&B”. ” (What the world needs now. Is prog, sweet prog…)

4. And finally, what brings me to Shawn Desman is his new song called Red Hair, all about hair salons, small dogs and – of course! – dancing. See?

God, I hate Shawn Desman. I hate his gleaming smile. I hate his fancy sneakers. I hate his persistence. I hate him almost more than I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

God, I really hate the Black Eyed Peas.

Stupid Coldplay.

Posted in music, television | 3 Comments

How to Prevent Sleep

I was standing in line at the drugstore while the check-out clerk stabbed her cash drawer with a screwdriver, marvelling at Jude Law’s complete idiocy with women (I think what happened is he cheated on his fiance with the nanny who looks after the kids he shares with his ex-wife) when a picture of a baby on a magazine cover caught my eye, and then the magazine’s title:

Prevention Magazine: How to Get Pregnant!

Posted in idiots, outside | Comments Off on How to Prevent Sleep

Amendment

Yesterday’s theme looked like this. I don’t think I’m ready for it. It made me sweat. So I’m playing with plain vanilla instead.

Posted in serious | 1 Comment