The Third – and Final – Post of the Last Day of November

I am knackered. There was a lot of laughing today, in part because I had a second cup of coffee and got a little high and in part because I have to laugh when someone says to me that she wants me to prepare an email transmittal form.

Hopefully she doesn’t google that to see what it is. If so: HI! THAT THING YOU SAID? IT DOESN’T EXIST! It’s like saying “I would like to wear some footwear hat.” How do you argue with someone who is speaking Snarglefoog? I don’t. At least past the first 3 attempts. Then I give up and I laugh. Hard, loud, long, like Mary Poppins and her laughing gas-infused uncle.

I got a small, wind-up dancing robot today at the dollar store.

And I had the following conversation with my boss, who is an Ismalii Imam, which means that in addition to working full time, he also has a side-job leading prayers in his mosque twice a day. Also he is much funnier than Little Mosque on the Prairie.

(Don’t ask me how we got to this point in the conversation.)

Him: Well you know that Muslims and Christians actually both descend from Abraham…
Me: Hmm?
Him: Abraham had two sons
Me: Right, Isaac and –
Him: Ishmael.
Me: Ah. Ishmael.
Him: See? White people, they don’t know about our prophets. We can believe in your prophets but you can’t believe in ours because you don’t know they exist!
Me: Good point.
Him: So we’re all around in the same part of the world, using the same camels, wandering the same deserts at the same time but the Muslims are ignoring the Christians and the Christians are ignoring the Muslims.
Me: Right
Him: Not like now. Now you can’t ignore us. We’re everywhere.
Me: Uh, yeah.

Everywhere!

I also had to laugh when I was browsing for wind-up dancing robots at the dollar store at Harbour Centre Mall, which is right in downtown Vancouver and one block from Historic Gastown, home of cobbled streets and history and adorable shops and lots of really good places to drink beer. (Sigh.) A customer asked the clerk where Gastown was. The clerk didn’t know. She called in a security guard from the mall. “Where is Gastown from here?” “Oh, not far,” he replied. “Just a few blocks.”
“Can I walk there?”
“Sure, yeah, it’s not that far.”

Sir! It’s OUTSIDE THOSE DOORS OVER THERE. You can practically see it from here. You can definitely smell it from here. Come on. It was reminiscent of the time when I worked at Granville Island and someone asked me where the water was.

Now I am waiting for Saint Aardvark to come home with burritos and if he doesn’t come home with burritos because the burrito place is closed, he is going to call and I order pizza and then try to stay awake until it gets here.

November is done and I didn’t make it to 1,000 posts but I might before Christmas or maybe around when this babby is born. I saw my doctor today and he said that based on Tuesday’s ultrasound, my due date is actually April 20th, not April 21st as we previously thought. Oh! Well, then! He was mentioning it as a point of interest, but come on, man, you’re talking to a woman who was induced at 7 days past her last due date. I don’t believe in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy or due dates.

Burritos just in! Happy December, everyone!