1. My new age adds up to 9 and is also the former ideal measurement for female busts and hips. I can’t get “36 24 36” by the Violent Femmes out of my head so if you want, go here and listen to it.
2. Fresco greeted me this morning with “Happy Yooouuuuu.”
3. I have heard from both of my children that I will be receiving a bottle of wine later today. I think they should tell me that every morning. It makes me more likely to forgive them for slight transgressions.
4. Not really.
5. Maybe a little.
6. I am grateful to the Olympics for obliterating the usual non-stop Valentine’s Day Non News that I have to listen to around my birthday. I would rather listen to Rick Cluff panic about the weather for 2 hours than hear one more guide to Panties She’ll Drop Her Panties For.
7. I never noticed before today how much Rick Cluff panics. The man needs to take a deep breath.
8. Yesterday, Trombone’s preschool celebrated Valentine’s Day.
9. He came home with a bunch but not one from every child, which means I am not the only mother who thought it was silly to send valentines to preschool.
10. Alternately, I am not the only mother who totally forgot anyway, until it was too late, so didn’t even have time for an internal debate convincing herself she should send valentines to school because everyone else would be and her son would be the only one without valentines to share.
11. Isn’t it way too early to be thinking about this? Don’t I get a couple more years?
12. Hey, I dug up an old Canada Day shirt for him to wear so he’d have on some red and white, as instructed by the preschool calendar.
13. I still think of time as linear when it is this meandering river of a thing, this slipping, sliding road that I wander from and find my way back to. I have achieved one more year; last year at this time was point A, today is point B, but I have aged more than one year in some ways and less than one year in others.
14. I think it is possible to regain youth.
15. Or, what we call youth. Supple muscles, for example. I feel younger when I am limber. I am more limber when I stretch.
16. I am not talking about smoother skin or perky breasts. My skin will never be as smooth as my kids’ and my breasts will never be as perky as they were before my kids.
17. I am OK with those things.
18. My mind is more limber when I sleep.
19. My digestive tract is more limber when I eat fruit.
20. One year, for my birthday, I was actually thrown a surprise party. And I was surprised.
21. Another year, for my birthday, I made my dad drive all over town to get me the soundtrack for Chariots of Fire. Vangelis!
22. This year for my birthday I am going to drink that bottle of wine I mentioned up there and watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games on the PVR so I can skip anything I need to skip.
23. I mean, it’s 6 hours long. I’m not watching it live.
24. Plus, if I see too much Gordon Campbell and Stephen Joseph Harper at the same time, I’m afraid my brain might explode.
25. Plus, I can’t stay up till 11 o clock. I’m 36 years old!
26. My eyes do mist up when I hear stirring anthems. But I actually almost cried when I heard about the young athlete who died this morning on a luge training run. To come so far and be so close to competing. I hope he was happy right up until that last second.
(I can’t segue out of that one gracefully so please read this as a moment of silence.)
27. Yesterday I tried on my first ever pair of Lululemon yoga pants.
28. And my second. Third. Fourth. Fifth. Sixth. Let’s just say I’m not comfortable with the long underwear, camel-toed look.
29. Do you know how much their yoga pants cost? Upwards of $75! I had no idea! You really want to love them for that much money.
30. But I was at the factory outlet. So they were mostly downward of $75.
31. And the pants I chose would be a birthday gift from my mother, so really they were free.
32. The biggest size they have at the factory outlet is 12. Good thing that’s my size.
33. There were more styles to choose from in the “2” section. Because there are fewer “2”s in the world? Or because the demand for size 2 is greater so they make more copies? O great mystery of life.
34. I am happy with my size 12, heavily discounted, haremy-style yoga pants.
35. Even if my mother insisted on taking them home with her to wrap up and give to me tomorrow at my and SA’s Official Birthday Party.
36. Goals for the year: write more, fret less, laugh often, wear pants that please me.