Three From Today

The Role of the Civil Servant in Tonight’s Performance Will be Played by: Trombone!

Trombone: Goodbye mummy. (runs to the other end of the house and sits in front of the front door)
Me: Goodbye. Where are you going?
Trombone: To work. I have my laptop. I am busy.
Me: Oh good.
Trombone: I have keys.
Me: Oh good.
Trombone: I have coffee.
Me: Is it coffee break time?
Trombone: It is! And now I am coming home!

Hey if you can’t hold up your end of the conversation I’ll find someone who can

Woman outside the store eyes the buggy: Wow, you’ve got TWO in there
Me: Yep
Woman (jovial): My daughter’s baby is 10 weeks old. She’s already talking about having the next one.
Me (dead serious): Would you like my opinion on that?
Woman snickers, crosses at the light.
Me, muttering under breath: She should keep her pants on. And keep those legs locked tight.
Man smoking cigarette nearby: Amen, sister.

I know. I am a crude, horrible person. It’s the water out here in the Mizzle. It crudifies.

Sprog Nation: Represent!

Woman shows up at the park with two toddlers in a buggy and one four year old. Eventually they make their way to the swingset where Trombone is swinging, possibly forever. Kid loves swinging. Anyway.

Me nodding at toddlers: Are they twins?
Her: Oh yeah. I’m not *that* crazy…
Me: Hey, we’re all a little crazy
Her: Well I certainly am now.
Me: Right.

Twin 2 year olds and a four year old and you are making polite conversation at the park? The Five Blades Award of the Day goes to you, lady. Pick it up at the front desk.