Monthly Archives: December 2004

On Saturday we helped my parents decorate their Christmas tree. And my mom made lasagna. And it was so good I cried inside. It’s just not Christmas unless I am competing with the tree for attention. The tree looked more … Continue reading →

(title bastardized from a line from “underwhelmed” by sloan, the best rock band in the universe) This morning I got an email from a mr. magic elf who wanted me to go to his website and order some of his … Continue reading →

A few minutes ago, a co-worker came to tell me that the tugboats in Burrard Inlet were circling slowly to mourn their murdered colleague. I got up to have a look just as they all sounded their horns. It was … Continue reading →

Three weeks ago I went to a walk-in clinic for my sore throat that never became a cold. The diagnosis took place after a quick flashlight down the throat and an interrogation. The doctor then said, “Looks like tonsillitis. I … Continue reading →

Here’s how it will go: Me: Hi I’m doing a fundraiser for homeless puppies who lost their parents to simian foamy virus? Person A: Awwwwww Person B: SO sad! Me: Yeah, so would you like to buy a 50/50 ticket? … Continue reading →