Almost nothing makes me madder than being mad and having no one notice how mad I am.
I also get really mad when people treat other people like garbage.
I hate cleaning out empty yogurt containers.
Sinks full of dirty dishes can never touch my bare hands.
But I will pick up cat poop from the floor using only a tissue.
I can’t burp. So when I get gassy in the upper register, I gurgle a lot and then get uncomfortable.
This is why I am picky about what beer I drink: if it’s mostly carbonation, I can only have one. Sometimes half of one.
This is also why I drink approximately one soda pop per year.
My mouth is crooked.
Once I heard a song on the dance radio station that I just loved. I am ashamed to admit it was by some ugly dude named Pitbull whose video displayed more tits than a field full of milking cows and now I can’t love that song anymore.
I have almost no knowledge of grammar rules. I really think I was away from my desk that day in grade seven.
Sometimes I get this panicked feeling that I have been spelling everything wrong forever and no one has told me.
I like the look of boy short style underwear, but all that fabric bunching up in my business! I would rather wear bikini briefs.
I enjoy creating analogies about the creative process more than I enjoy engaging in the creative process, unless one counts creating analogies as part of the creative process.
Sometimes I forget how tall I am.
With a couple of notable exceptions, I just really don’t like most small dogs. Their constant excitement makes me nervous.
I love Cher, mostly because she’s an alto so I can sing along.
Oh, I know that feel. I actually did spell “hilarious” incorrectly (two Ls) until I was… 31? Someone pointed it out to me, and I was all “huh?”
I understand your hatred of cleaning out yogurt containers, but in my mind they can’t hold a candle to peanut butter jars. Those are the WORST.