I Fell Asleep Writing This

This is my second day without caffeine in my body except for the negligible amounts found in the single piece of Almond Roca I consumed this afternoon. (For the sake of Science: I always drink one large cup of coffee per day and about twice a week I have a second cup later in the morning. Once or twice a month I have espresso at 4 pm) Anyway! I have this to report:


Sand in the eyeballs tired. Up since 3 am tired, even though I was fast asleep at 3 am and in fact turned out my light last night … well, I didn’t turn it out, I think Saint Aardvark did, near 9 pm. Last thing I remember I was reading. And then I was awake again at 5:20 am feeling distinctly UNRESTED.

Shouldn’t the whole point of ridding your body of stimulants and depressants be that you magically find the middle spot on the teeter totter and balance there with a half smile on your face forever? I guess not. It feels like my body wants to sleep enough to make up for all the sleep that got put off by coffee since I started drinking it at 18.


I went to work yesterday. Everything was fine until lunchtime, and then my head started to hurt. It sort of felt like I had been lightly punched in the nose. A throbbing in my forehead and eyes. Staring at my computer did not help. I made it go away with ibuprofen and then it came back this morning at about 10, so I took more ibuprofen and then it started to sort of sneak in on the right side of my eyeballs at 2 this afternoon so I took MORE ibuprofen and I think we’re cool now.


I lost track of how many times I dropped the f-bomb into a small rant delivered to my supervisor. Luckily she is amused by me. Also, luckily, she was in the mood to be obscenely angry with me about the stupid things people do. Alright! Sometimes we use empathy and sometimes we use SWEARING LOUDLY.


The slight fog that I’m inhabiting while I move around in the world seems to make me more approachable; I have had many strangers smile at me in the past two days, I think because I look dazed and confused and people feel sorry/want to take advantage of me. No one has tried, mind you. Just more friendliness and sympathetic looks in my general direction. Or maybe I’m hallucinating.

(The other thing I’m abstaining from is alcohol, which so far has been a snap because who wants to drink alcohol when they already have an eye-jabbing headache? Only a true alcoholic, I suspect, which I am not.)

In a weak moment I googled caffeine withdrawal symptoms just so I could read about the headache I was already enduring. And then I read the comments, which went from comparing caffeine to heroine (sic) to someone picking on the typo to another person arguing anything can harm you if consumed in great enough quantities, just look at water, and then another person having an actual paragraph-laden argument with that person about oh god I don’t even know but it did not make my headache better so it fails as an internet webpage of any use.

In sum: All hail ibuprofen and onward day three.

3 thoughts on “I Fell Asleep Writing This

  1. beth

    just read this,about coffee. Ireember having the headache,for possibly a week, then it goes, and generally you start to feel better.
    Also, espresso has less caffeine, so you can slip a small cup in occasionally .
    Hang in there!

  2. Ldot Idot

    I’m standing here, nodding sympathetically and hoping you feel better soon, and at the same time not really understanding because I’ve been hypersensitive to caffeine my whole life (so obviously I haven’t had a chance to develop a habit, then break it and have withdrawal symptoms).

    I do feel sorry though! My ex-bf also used to quit coffee periodically, and he also said the headaches tapered off after about a week, so I hope you’re free of them soon.

  3. Lynn

    I’m not going to be any help because I’m going the other way – I’ve decided to become a coffee drinker. I’ve been falling asleep on the couch at 9 p.m. for a couple of years now and it’s time to admit that a solid night’s sleep can SUCK IT, caffeine is where it’s at. A coffee in the middle of the afternoon is amazing – I feel like a superhero who can stay up until at least TEN P.M. Coffee is my new best buddy :).

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