The Cheeseblog

Picture it: a grocery store lineup. There are three people in line; one is being served, one is you, one is the guy behind you. A cashier comes up behind you and says, “Ma’am, I can help you at the next till.” You are pleasantly surprised but before you can pick up your basket full of half-price ice cream, ( Sarah? Are you listening? The Breyers is half off at Supervalu) the guy behind you muscles past and puts his Breezeway full of lettuce on the rolly thing. The cashier says, “I’ll get the lady behind you first, sir,” and the guy says, “And why is that?” and the cashier says, “Because she was next in line,” and the guy says, “And?” and the cashier says, “…” and the guy says “Fine,” leaves his basket of lettuce and storms out as though somebody tried to stick a saliva-wet finger in his ear. He was about 5’9″, 40ish, neat, dark beard and glasses. Give him a kick if you see him. Probably he’ll be trying to buy lettuce.

Coincidentally, there is a story on Marketplace or possibly Venture tonight about the Death of Customer Service. I heard a preview with Tricky Rick Cluff on Friday morning.

Headline!
The Making of America’s Next (next, next, next) Top Model, comes back on March 2. MARCH 2! As always, Silent Queue was the one to tell me.

Digression!
I think Andre 3000 and Courtney Love should get together. I think they would really settle each other down.

LOL!

PS: Holy crap! this website that I came across while looking for the perfect photo of Courtney. So many pink flashing everythings! But I cannot deny that if I had a pink flashing everything I would totally show the world, just like this girl. Or this one!

Hello, Lipgloss Whores? I totally didn’t get your invitation to join & be your friend! But MY Favourite Lip Gloss is Definitely the Bonne Bell Espresso-yo-self. For Sures.

I thought it was the monitor. It sounded just like an electrical zap and I even got a new, Ben Q monitor out of the deal. 17 Sweet Inches! But something is still going “zap” and that makes me think it isn’t the monitor’s fault at all.

Aw geez. Heard a rumour that hockey might go all resurrection on our asses.

Traigame una jofaina! means Bring me a basin!

Tonight we ate roast bison for dinner, courtesy of a Portuguese man my father welds things for. It was the best roast beef I have ever tasted.

On the way, I learned that I do a passable Bob Dylan:

and I can also be Mick:

My hair has applied for its own passport. It said something about taking some time away; a vacation to Australia? Backpacking maybe? It is bored with our life together, all the wetting and drying, combing and ponytailing. I got that 7 year itch growing on my scalp, man.

Today I found Duck and Monkey and I may never be the same.

A map of states I’ve visited. Link via this nice girl with the rainbow shorts.

create your own visited states map

A good thing: Saint Aardvark’s blog’s makeover. New version of WordPress; Bring it!

But a bad thing: LET HOCKEY DIE. For the love of the game. Or I will punch you.

A good thing: I dreamed I was at Virgin Megastore and I saw Donald Trump and Meyela or whatever his fiance’s name is. Ms. Tighty Pants. And Donald Trump smiled at me and mimed like he was a bunny rabbit. So I said, “Hi Mr. Trump. Are you a bunny rabbit?” And he shook his head and mimed hopping and butting his head against something. So I said, “Oh, are you a deer?” And he nodded and smiled. He had a big gap between his front teeth, like the one I had in 7th grade. And I said, “So this week’s task on the Apprentice is deer hunting!” And he nodded again and scampered off through the store.

That really happened in my dream.