Interesting Fact Tuesday

I heard on the radio this morning a reference to a Conservative Member of Canada’s Parliament who has taken to making his points in the House of Commons by reciting them as rhyming couplets and sometimes actually singing his statements: the example on the radio was him wailing like a drunken uncle, “We don’t need no/sub-committees/we just need/a leader with balls” (not verbatim) to the tune of “Another Brick in the Wall” by Pink Floyd.

The Speaker was quoted as retorting (also not verbatim),
“If the Honourable Member wishes to express himself in song, may I suggest he save his comments for National Anthem Wednesday…”

So I got to thinking: National Anthem Wednesday? Does this mean that the MPs sing the National Anthem every Wednesday? Or does it mean that on Wednesdays, people across the country are encouraged to sing their own anthems? (“We Will Rock You,” perhaps, or “Panama”?) Or does it mean that this coming Wednesday (October 5) is National Anthem Day?

Sadly, the first and most obvious choice is correct.
“In 1995, the House concurred in a report of the Procedure and House Affairs Committee which recommended that the Members sing the national anthem at the beginning of each Wednesday sitting.”
If I ever tour the parliament buildings again, I am SO going on a Wednesday.

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SaskaPARTY!

Saskatoon is a mid-sized city with approximately 207,000 citizens. We looked this up on the internet because we knew people would ask us when we got back from our small (4 days!) vacation last week. In fact, it has been the third most common question asked of me in the past week. Why yes, I did do a statistical analysis. I lurve the statistics!

The first two most common questions asked of me have been:

1. Why did you go to Saskatoon?
2. Do you know how COLD it gets there in the winter?

Here are the answers.

1. We went to Saskatoon because we had never been there.

(I drove through one time, in 2001, on my way to Rosthern [goodness, did you know they had a website? startling!] to see Sarah’s favourite bar, the one from within which she wrote me letters in 1992 while drinking Molson Dry and playing “I’ve Got Friends In Low Places” on the jukebox. We drove in, toured the highschool, swatted mosquitoes, checked in to the Rosthern Hotel for $35 and there I took this marvellous picture which sums things up nicely:

Hope that’s OK, Sarah. Here’s one of me from the same era to even things out:

It was kind of like Graceland, Rosthern. I’m glad I went; I may never go again.)
Continue reading

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Raise the Roof!

This morning my clock radio woke me with “Blame it On The Rain,” by Milli Vanilli. I think it’s been 400 years since I heard that song on the radio. Consequently, it is still, four hours later, spinning around in my head, giving high fives to “Spanish Flea.” My head needs cleansing.

Then, because I was too transfixed to hit the snooze button, I heard a dance remix of “Owner of a Lonely Heart” by Yes.

So I got up.

And now I am going to play the new System of A Down album because it melds polka, thrash, political awareness and built for over-analysis lyrics like:

“There’s nothing wrong with me
there’s something wrong with you
there’s something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn’t eat the fish
when we’re crying for our next fix
killers never hurt feelings
killers never hurt feelings
killers never hurt feelings
gonorrhea gorgonzola
gonorrhea gorgonzola”

(from “This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I’m On This Song.”)

Not the best music for driving around peaceful, pleasant, polite Saskatoon in a gold PT Cruiser with Alberta plates (more on that in a couple of days) but certainly a good thing to have in the background at work when a V.I.P is visiting.

Yes! You guessed right! David Hasselhoff is in the office today. Gotta run: he’s taking his shirt off.

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I Can Make All Your Stadiums Rock!

*names have been changed*

Frankie, the guy who orders our supplies at work is a frat boy who is approximately 18 years old and likes beer. He came by my desk today.

Frankie: You’ll never guess what I’m doing tonight…
Me: ??
Frankie: Going to see Air Supply. At the River Rock Casino in Richmond.
Me: !!
Frankie: Yeah, because of that Saturday Night Live sketch? With the Air Supply?
Me: ??
Frankie: Anyway – me and my buddies. Just 4 guys, going to see Air Supply. Us and a bunch of old people. We’re going to be so WASTED.
Me: You’ll be tranquilized by the end of it…
Frankie: And we only know the one song (sings): I’m all out of love…
Me: Oh but you are also going to hear (sings): Making love! Out of nothing at all! [hushed]making love [shrieking] outofnothingatall!!!
Frankie: Holy crap – that’s Air Supply?
Me: Yep. Bet you thought it was Meatloaf
Him: Yeah! Totally!
Me: Jim Steinman has a distinctive production sound
Frankie: Holy crap! It’s gonna be a great show! I love that song!
Me: Nobody says it like Air Supply says it. Don’t ask me how I know that.
Me: Hey I should go
Me: And then we could stay at the casino overnight…do they have a hotel?
Co-worker A: (types into google) …Yep
Me: …and go to the airport in the morning! wow! total payback for the time Saint Aardvark told me we were going to a show and took me to Pocahontas on Ice.
Frankie: ouch
Me: Yes. Disney and Ice Capades.
Frankie: Was he being serious or…
Me: No, he was being an ass.
Me: That’s totally what I’m going to do
Me: I think I’ll get tickets – how much could they be? $10?
Frankie: I don’t know – my buddy bought us our tickets
Me: (checking online ticket provider) Holy crap! $54 to see Air Supply!
Co-worker A: Go on, do it.
Me: No way! I’ll find a midi. That’ll do.

Posted in funny, music | 3 Comments

It Just Hit Me

Do you suppose America’s Next Top Model is run in “cycles” rather than seasons as a coy way of referring to menstrooation? If so, why has a tampon commercial not yet been one of the challenges? I sure hope this Cycle has a tampon commercial or perhaps a pad commerical (do they still make those?) where the mystery of the blue water is solved, once and for all.

Posted in television | 3 Comments