“Nobody’s Perfect” Monday

I have just finished a very large bowl of pasta with butter and cheese. There are maybe 15 minutes remaining until I pass out. Fair warning; if this goes up with an incomplete thought, it’s because I’m face down on the keyboard and so see you tomorrow.

As you may have noticed I am big into noticing and picking on people for being annoying. However, I’m certainly no princess. Here are some things about me that I find annoying:

1. I leave small amounts of food in containers in the fridge. After a certain, unmeasurable point, fridged foods become “old” in my mind and I not only do not want to eat them but I am loathe to even acknowledge their existence.
2. I am highly susceptible to road rage.
3. I save my biggest wrath for the people closest to me. Instead of telling the person who pissed me off 2 days ago why he pissed me off, I wait 2 days and pick on Saint Aardvark.
4. I think I am right about everything. Except things in which I have no investment, like whether or not it is going to rain tomorrow. Everything I care about? I am right.
5. I am a sore loser and I get even more sore when it turns out I’m not right. (luckily this never happens.)
6. I don’t like conflict so I go to great, ridiculous lengths to avoid it.
7. I like all the people I consider friends but I make very few efforts to keep in touch with them. Then I assume they hate me because I haven’t talked to them in so long.
8. I talk big and rarely deliver.
9. I am very judgemental.
10. I use the word “crazy” too much for someone who has not got a diagnosis of her own.

The following are things about me that I find not annoying.

1. I am compassionate. Every few days I do let someone cut in front of me in traffic.
2. I will always let someone tell me his/her story.
3. I forgive.
4. If something REALLY needs cleaning, I will clean it.
5. I will make you laugh. If it kills me.
6. I save my farts for home unless it’s an emergency.
7. I look people in the eye. Even on the street.
8. I always at least try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
9. I can make up kick ass song lyrics on the spot; sometimes tunes too.
10. Ultimately, I accept and love you for who you are.