The Art of Lurk

The word “lurk” freaks me out. I am better at saying and writing it now than I used to be; a couple of years ago when I started adventuring in the blogosphere (another word I hate that I can now say without [much] vomiting or ironic eyebrow raising) and there were discussions everywhere about lurkers and de-lurkers and de-lurking day I was all fat-tongued and hateful about it. Now I have come to terms with the (bastardization of! our!) vocabulary and have been thinking about the lurk itself.

Schmutzie is encouraging a ‘net-wide de-lurk on Wednesday, October 3rd. Here, it’s a button.
Of course everyone out on the Internet that day commented on her post about the de-lurk day and I did too because I’m a joiner.

I wrote that I was guilty of lurking and of not responding to peoples’ comments on my own blog and I agreed with a previous poster that I was also guilty of making the comments I leave on other peoples’ blogs “all about me.” Just the phrase “all about me” seemed automatically like a bad thing, something to feel guilty about, but I was thinking about it later in the day and realized that I don’t expect the people who comment here (uh, like, you guys) to make it all about anyone other than them, so what I wrote was a lie.

A lie!

Responding to comments in my own blog and making comments “all about me” in other peoples’ blogs are related issues in my mind because The Blog, to me, has always been a form of communication much like conversation. I’ve always felt that I don’t belong in the comments section of my own blog because that’s where you guys are talking. You don’t interrupt my story, you let me talk till I’m done and then you talk. It’s nice.

On the other hand, I really enjoy the blogs where the writers comment back to their own commenters, because that makes the conversation longer than “The weather is wet.” “Yes, it is.” When it’s artfully done, the “reply to my commenters” groove is really engaging and wonderful. I’ve seen magical things at Arwen’s place, where her conversations with people go on for days and world issues get resolved. So I might give it a try and see what happens. Maybe it’ll make the bus come on time.

However, I really am not fussed about what my commenters talk about. It’s your comment, you can write what you want, as long as you are not trying to sell me something. In a real life conversation I would never expect my co-conversationalists to reflect me constantly. “Wow, what a great thing you just said. You’re smart. I like you. Say more things,” or “Dumb thing you said! Shut up! I hate you!” (Which is probably not what the commenter at Schmutzie’s meant. I know the kind of comment they’re talking about and when that person comments “I have a bellyache today!” on every single post, yes, that’s annoying. Still, I was enjoying the exercise so I kept writing this entry.) But I really don’t think that sharing a story about yourself in response to someone sharing a story about herself is somehow egocentric or awful.

But guys? I’m glad you’re here. Thank you for all the lovely words on my last post and you know, you don’t have to wait until I’m pregnant to de-lurk because though evidence may indicate otherwise, this is really not how I intend to spend more than the next year of my life. But if you want to keep lurking, that’s okay too. And I will never type the word “lurk” again because I have used it so many times now that I feel like I’m wearing a black trenchcoat, crouching in the bushes behind Brad Pitt’s house, waiting for a glimpse of his stubbly butt.

Is his butt stubbly? Why did I say that? Here, look at my kid.