Renovation

Today I was on my belly on the carpet, wrestling with The Strongest Baby in the Universe and I noticed that he is working on his pincer grasp. That’s the thumb and forefinger. That’s the motion that means he can pinch my neck even more effectively, wedge his thumb up my nostril and use the index to squeeze and, most importantly, start to eat finger foods.

Contrary to his beliefs, finger food does not mean squeeze the nipple that has sustained you for the last 32 weeks. Finger foods means cheerios, hunks of pear, eventually cheese. Kid. You listening or what?

Anyway, while I was on my belly on the carpet, I noticed he was practising his pincer grasp – on specks of dirt. Chip crumbs. Clutches of catt hair (and, let’s be quite honest, people hair too). Yes, the filthy, filthy wall-to-wall carpet. I knew I would hate it. Didn’t I say, about a year ago, “no, the place we’re buying isn’t perfect; for example it has wall-to-wall white carpet”? Yes, I did. And the carpet is spotted with coffee stains, as I predicted, and the carpet near the kitchen is sloppy with dirt from outside, plus glops of baby-type food that has somehow managed to not go in his mouth? But been flung by a spoon? Have you heard of this? and the carpet in the living room, where we do all of our playing, has pee on it and one [small] poop stain and handfuls of hair and probably foul insect larvae for all I know and I DON’T want to know and neither did you but hey – at least now you have advance warning and can think of reasons not to come over before I invite you.

I do vacuum. Last week, pre-visit from family, I even vacuumed up the stairs. All three flights. I developed a great system where I would rake the step with my right hand and then use the hose of the vaccum to suck up what I’d raked. Oh, it’s disgusting.

We know, though, that we will not be attempting to sell this house with the carpet intact. We knew moving in that before we moved out the carpet would have to be replaced. Our plan is to replace all the carpet with laminate floor before we leave. So, much as it is a nest of ick and I fear that Trombone’s first finger food will be, well, something black and speck-like that he manages to harvest from the floor, I am committed to letting it be until it isn’t anymore. No home improvement till after we get the car.

But I can revamp my blog in less than an hour and for free. This person? made this theme I’m using. It makes me chortle with spring-like laughter. I hope it does for you too.