Phase One: Complete Annihilation of Crows

Yesterday all our precious stuff went to a storage locker, moved efficiently by two young men, one of whom apparently looked like Joel Plaskett of the Joel Plaskett Emergency. (How have I never heard of this band? They’re pretty good. Like Sloan kinda, crossed with Kathleen Edwards, based on the one track I just listened to. [Do you like how I’m name-checking Cancon now to make up for never having heard of the Joel Plaskett Emergency? Smoove, no?])

Anyway, SA tells me this is all the case and there’s really no reason to go all no-trusty on his ass at this point. I was at work all day yesterday and today. I’m wondering how someone so undernourished and shempy could move our apartment more than a couple of inches without stopping for a Jolt Cola and a cigarette, but – again – apparently (I haven’t been by to inspect things…) the apartment is empty and our stuff is safe in the Mizzle.

Mom cooked delicious stew for dinner last night and then she even watched America’s Next Top Model with me, though her lip was curled with disdain the whole time. The two of us razzing the whiny idiot Gina resulted in Gina finally being ousted. No I’m not linking to Gina. I hate Gina. And now, who said positive thinking never resulted in a positive result? No one, that’s who.

I had forgotten about the crows that sit cawing on the power lines outside my old bedroom window in the family homestead. This morning at 5 am I remembered how when I was a teenager and last sleeping in that room, I would lie awake at 5 am, fantasizing about removing the screens from the windows and shooting at the crows with a pellet gun. What are they on about? They sit there, inches away from one another, cawing like people new to the technology shout on their cell phones. “HI! I’M ON MY CELL PHONE! I’M ON THE BUS! THERE ARE LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE ON THE BUS! THAT WOMAN IS STARING AT ME! SHE HAS BAD HAIR! WHY IS SHE STARING AT ME I WONDER?”

Can crows really have that much to talk about, every morning, in the same place? Maybe they’re playing bingo. Or it’s like a crow version of The View. Those women sound like crows too sometimes. And I’m not linking to them, either.

I am suddenly struck that I could keep babbling here for hours. So, uh, go look at Sarah and Michael’s gorgeous babies. And then maybe watch some videos by The Darkness. One of those things might be just what you need.