Dancing on the Corpse’s Ashes

The kids who inhabit the apartment below the GATS are dancing to the beat of the rhythm of the night. One just shook her arm out the window, “Stop! In the Name of Love!” style. And another, in a pink, hooded sweatshirt, was bounding across the living room. Looks like they are maybe playing “You be Beyonce and I’ll be Jay Z!” but in a goofy, new apartment sort of way.

GATS is watching Entertainment Tonight. Apparently Kirstie Alley is fat but not enjoying it anymore. I can’t tell that from the TV, I read it in People. Pity she’s reneging on the fat thing, what with her new show about the Fat Actress. Oh but wait, maybe she thinks she’ll get more interviews if she repents of her fat ways? Was this all an elaborate ploy? A marketing scheme? Does someone out there give a fuck about Kirstie Alley?

I guess I never really appreciated her in Cheers – I was paying too much attention to Woody Harrelson. And then there were those bad movies with the baby and John Travolta. And then the show about the closet. And then the Pier One Commercials. No more Kirstie for me, thanks; another bite and I’ll burst!

President’s Choice, ie: Superstore, has started making food that is good for you. They made rice chips flavoured like Thai curry that actually taste like Thai curry. My palate finds this to be simultaneously delicious and confusing. It’s a familiar flavour but you can’t quite understand it because when’s the last time chips tasted like coconut and lemongrass? Didn’t stop me from eating the whole bag, mind.

Antihistamine! Why did it take me so long to think of this? If you itch, make the itch stop with an anti-itch. On Saturday, we had to go across the bridge to shorts-land and I was so itchy I almost removed my chin with an old potato peeler. Then I remembered the packet of antihistamines I bought before I got the tonsil/tonsil/sinus infection. I took two little pills and was very impressed to note, out loud and to anyone who would pay attention, that the itching had stopped. My whole life I have been waiting for an end-user-solution like this one! Off we pranced out into the Saturday afternoon sun…shine….and the…seabus….was so…..slow I…was suddenly…..so….tired…..holy….and I…. fell

I woke up at Starbucks in the mall. Saint Aardvark was force-feeding me coffee and apple-caramel square. Twenty minutes of HEY I’M IN A MALL! excitement ensued. Then I felt like I might collapse back into cotton dreamy-land with extra squishy rabbits to cuddle.

1. Antihistamines really make you drowsy. The label, she does not lie.

2. Unless you get the kind made of Loratadine, the World’s Own Non-Drowsy Antihistamine. Not only does Loratadine work – OK – not quite as well as the other stuff but damn well – a search for it led me to that page I just mentioned, where it also says Super L works to And I Quote: “…relieve the symptoms of a condition called chronic idiopathic urticaria. This is a chronic itchy rash, similar to nettle rash, but with no apparant cause. Blocking the actions of histamine relieves the itching and reduces the rash associated with this condition.”

I have a condition and it has a name and a treatment and it’s idiopathic! Ha! I Knew That! Yes!