“It fits much better in the front when it’s on properly than it does when it’s back to front.”
– Saint Aardvark about his t-shirt.
Saint Aardvark’s Dad sent me this story about the Hairy Leg Festival in Whitehorse. Apparently, the “ape-like” woman with the densest, thickest hair will win a razor. I wish I had known in time to book a trip up there. If I start scraping now, my legs might be hairfree by July. Operation Leg Freedom!
On the other hand, McCall, Idaho’s winter festival, rewarded a bushy man with first prize in their hairiest, sexist legs contest, “…proving that the McCall audience likes legs that look as if they belong on a bear.”
Speaking of bears, do you suppose this bear wannabe knows about these ones?
Finally, in Gravenhurst, Ontario THIS WEEKEND, you can enter the Co-ed Beard & Hairy Legs Contest at Lakers Tap & Grill
Cost: Free
Time: 8 p.m.
Rules: All participants will be judged on the following: length of hair; grooming; creativity; legs will be judged from the knees to ankle – NO feet! Winners: Two overall winners with one for each category: beard, hairy legs.
I think we’ve got that one sewn up. After all, Saint Aardvark’s beard is so spectacular, so self-sufficient it’s practically a sovereign state. So see you in Gravenhurst! where children shouldn’t have to know about vandalism.
And now, more Nyquil.