Not Alone! Not Alone!

I am not the only one who sees the Peter Griffith/Michael Moore thing. Spanish people see it too.

If you have a sleep debt, isn’t it against the law for collection agents to call you at work?

Thanks a lot, I’m here all week, try the veal.

Saint Aardvark was given an Italian Phrase a Day calendar for Christmas. It was cute at first; Aardy saying, “Buon anno!” (happy new year) the first weekend of the year; Aardy saying, “Mi piace l’inverno!” (I like winter) while the snow came down by the truck load. But then the calendar started getting kind of spooky.
“Uno bicchiere di vino rosso,” (a glass of red wine) it demanded, the morning we went over to my parents’. While we watched movies and ate chips it mumbled petulantly from the desk, “Preferisco andare a pattinare.” (I’d rather go ice skating.) One day it was “Perche tanta fretta?” (what’s the hurry?) and the next it was “Sono caduto” (I fell) and the very next, the calendar said, “Che orrore!” (how awful) but you just knew it was smiling on the inside. I’ve been waiting for “nuotando con i pesci”(swimming with the fishes) to turn up.

Today Aardy called me from home, having left work to soak his stuffed up head in the comfort of his own bathroom and sleep off the cold medicine. (heykidsthat’srealspeedinthereyouknow)

“My calendar? Today?”
“Yes?”
“It says, Sono malado. Do you know what that means?”
“I am sick.”
“How did it KNOW?”
“You should burn it.”
“Right away. I have to detach it from the catt though.”
“The catt?”
“Yeah, it attacked the catt.”
“I wondered what that noise was.”