Shake your Coconuts!

I have sinusitis. It’s curable! In 14 days, hopefully sooner, I will begin to feel the effects of antibiotics on my Nefarious Bacterium and its evil offspring, Blinding Headache. It’s a good thing sinusitis is curable because I have exhausted every pain killer on the market as well as performing every home remedy, voodoo ritual and snot dance imaginable. But the learning opportunities have been terrific.


  • Kleenex (r) brand tissue actually is better than t’other kind. Mom gave me a whole box as a pre-Christmas gift and I swear to god if you could make bedding out of this stuff, I would be so in.
  • If you take enough of it, even Tylenol stops working. BUT doubling your usual dose of Ibuprofren, food of the gods, will dull the pain enough to allow sleep.
  • **

  • When you have no sense of taste or smell, Christmas dinner (and all other kinds of dinner) becomes veritably Twinkie-like, where a Twinkie represents something that looks tasty but is not discernably different in flavour from any other food.
  • Pseudoephedrine not only makes me high; the morning after, it (combined with Aspirin) makes my nose bleed so that my parents’ bathroom resembles a lost scene from Kill Bill Vol. 1.
  • Aspirin can cause nose bleeds.
  • Our family and friends are so awesome. We were blessed with gifts and laughter and chocolate and venison pepperettes from Ontario and Sheridan’s liqueur. Saint aardvark and I agreed that if I stopped whining he would stop threatening to put me down (and telling his family on the phone of his plans…) So I went and listened to the Led! Zeppelin! Boxed! Set! he gave me for Christmas. And all became well.

(Zeppelin! Wooooo!)
* yes, those are legwarmers. Yes, it is 2004.
** yes, that is a duck puppet. Yes, another one. Yes, it belongs to me. No, my nose did not bleed on it. My nose knows which lines not to cross.

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