For Posterity

Supper table. Both children and I, eating. Each child has a glass of water and a glass of apple cider. Non-alcoholic.

Trombone: When I’m done this apple cider, can I have more apple cider?
Me: No.
Trombone: Why not?
Me: Because you need to drink water or milk. One glass of apple cider is enough. It’s juice, you know.
Trombone: No it’s not. It’s cider.
Me: … (shoveling food in my mouth)

Trombone eyes Fresco.

Trombone: Fresco. Drink your cider.
Fresco: What?
Trombone: Drink your cider. Do you still have some cider?
Fresco: Yes I do. (holds up his glass)
Trombone: Drink it!
Fresco: No. I will drink my water. (Drinks his water) Water is good for me.
Trombone: (sighs)

several minutes pass

Fresco: (drinks his cider) THERE! It’s all gone.
Trombone: Aha! (to me) See, I was tricking him. I wanted him to drink all his so that then I would have more!
Me: Ah.
Fresco: But I win the cider race! I win!
Trombone: Whatever. I don’t care.
Fresco: (singing) I win I win I win I w —
Me: — So you both got something you wanted.
Trombone: (ignoring me) I still have some cider. And you don’t have any.
Fresco: But I WIN!
Trombone: No you DON’T. I do. Because I tricked you.
Fresco: Nope.

**
The End. As if.

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3 Responses to For Posterity

  1. t says:

    dude, tell me about it.

  2. Nicole says:

    Oh dear god. I completely understand except change “cider” to “imaginary car races and zoo animals” and “supper table” to “whenever” and I have similar discussions.

  3. Somehow I still want to have a second kid 🙂