Notes From Mother’s Journal: List Edition

I’m all about the lists lately. I like reading them, I like writing them. They appeal to my hyper-organized half, or the half that likes to think she’s organized. Or maybe I am just missing office work. Yes! That’s it!

For a few weeks I have been keeping a daily to-do list. Partly it inflates my sense of self-worth. Partly because, at the end of the day, I can reflect that I did accomplish something, even if everything looks the same as it did 24 hours earlier.

That is my biggest advice to you. Write it all down. I know – you didn’t come here for administrative advice. You came here for angst-filled, humourous, anecdotey type stuff. Sorry.

My daily to-do list usually looks like this:

– shower
– email So-N-So
– groceries
– tidy toy basket X
– work on Short Story Y
– laundry
– stretch
– make supper
– mail X thing to Y person
– change cat litter
– sweep floor

yesterday it included:

– don’t kill the children
– breathe

and that was surprisingly helpful. I was exaggerating of course, I always remember to breathe! But writing it down made it real, made my stress and anxiety touchable and viewable and cross-off-able.

(Well I didn’t actually cross it off because I was in quite a state right up till bedtime and today, after a good night’s sleep, I couldn’t be bothered. But you get the idea.)

Here’s a list that’s been floating around my head lately.

Pros and Cons: Two Children

Pro: Built-in, daily lessons in SHARING. So important for civic minded youth who are to grow up as not-assholes!
Con: One always wants what the other one has. No matter what it is. Daily lessons in SHARING make primary caregiver weak and cantankerous and prone to saying, “HERE: TWO IDENTICAL THINGS. PLEASE BE QUIET.”

Pro: Learning that there is lots of love to go around! More family, more love.
Con: See point above. Always wants what the other one has. Is one getting a hug from me? Other one wants it too. Everyone emphasizes preserving one-on-one time between parents and children and I agree, it is so important, but hard to schedule. Especially when there is little enough one-on-one time with a) myself and b) my partner.

Random Pro: Learning at an early age to love and respect someone smaller than you.

Random Con: Noise. If you are noise-averse, stick to one kid. Holy crap.

Pro: Younger child might learn things faster because older child does them. IE: Potty training, application of clothing, walking, running, talking.
Con: Great, now you have two verbal children. Have you ever heard a 2 year old argue with a 4 year old? It sounds exactly like this:

“I eat yogurt!”
“I’m eating yogurt too!”
“No, I EAT YOGURT!”
“Well, I’m eating yogurt too!”
“I EAT YOGURT! ME ME ME!”
“I can say it too! I can say that I’m eating yogurt too! I’M EATING YOGURT TOO!”

With one child? You never have to hear that argument. The kid says he’s eating yogurt, you nod and smile and keep reading the paper.

Pro: Send one off in one direction, the other will follow. Mostly to see what he’s missing but the effect is the same: two children in the same place. So much easier to manage.
Con: Unless you are in public, in which case they run in opposite directions and you just got your shoulder pulled out of its socket and the old ladies are tutting.

Pro: Extra set of hands around the house.
Con: Extra set of hands that are at one end of the house dismantling a bag of bread while you are at the other end of the house explaining why We Don’t Climb the TV Stand.

Pro: Built in audience for rock n roll shows.
Con: One always wants the guitar the other is playing, even if there are four (4)(!) other guitars.

Con: Sibling doesn’t do things the way you want him to.
Pro: Dude, no one ever will, so the sooner you learn this, the better.

Pro: A second chance to relax, enjoy the baby, use all those receiving blankets, marvel at the miracle of those tiny toes without stressing about whether the toes are evenly spaced or not.
Con: You could say that you have less time to relax because you’re already chasing the first one, but really, there is time if you look for it.
Pro: Trust me, you will get very good at ferreting out time where you thought there was none.

Pro: The younger one has someone closer to his size to idolize.
Con: The heartbreak of rejection.
Pro: Again, gotta learn sometime. Will help when he starts dating.

Biggest con, for me? Managing time. I am still jealous of my former self and her ability to sit and look out the window and lollygag.
Biggest pro: watching them love each other.