Into Every Life a Little of It Must Fall

We went uptown this morning because it was one of those days where you could stay in the house, sure, but there would be a trip to the hospital eventually because everyone was grumpy and clumsy and that means crying. Lots of crying. Fresco fell down two steps and by the looks of it smashed his top two teeth (only one of which is actually through the gum) into his lower lip so he had blood on his lip and oh the crying my lord the crying. Yes, yes, poor guy, but if he would for one second consider learning how to go DOWN stairs instead of just climbing them incessantly. Have some foresight. What are you, a cat? We’ve got the gate up at the third step so he can practice coming down the steps but he won’t practice, just climbs up and rattles the gate and yells at me and then, half the time, takes a step back and whoops.

Trombone woke up way too early because I had a shower (on the bright side, I had a shower) and was a bear all morning, asking me why I wouldn’t play with him and then turning his back on me when I answered and then turning back again and saying, “I’m not listening to you,” and then turning around again. So I kept sweeping the floor – honestly, that’s all I was doing, my hourly floor sweep, so that Fresco doesn’t eat coffee beans or peanut butter dollops or cat litter; you get the idea, it’s not like I was partying it up in the kitchen with Elvis Costello and some tequila – and he started crying at me about how he has no friends and he wishes he had some friends and I was all, oh yeah? Where are MY friends, hmm? Do you see me hanging out in here with MY friends?

Pop quiz: who is more immature, the almost-3-year-old or the just-turned-35-year-old?

– anyway. We walked uptown and I went to London Drugs and got some new markers because our old markers are a little dingy and some crackers because we are out of crackers. Waiting in line we were right near the Big Screen TV they have to demonstrate how wonderful Big Screen TVs are. Usually the BSTV is playing an Elton John live show and we dance along to Crocodile Rock and I laugh at Elton John’s glasses but today it was a live Eagles show and the Eagles were moaning on about their comeback album and how everyone just wants to hear Desperado and wahh wahh wahh. There in front of the BSTV, London Drugs has put two large leather armchairs and there are always people sitting in them, watching the BSTV and today those two people were obviously drunk.

The smell. I could smell how drunk they were. And also they were transfixed by the Eagles Live show. And then one of them started singing along.

I’m not saying if I had nothing else to do today I wouldn’t go drink a bunch of beer and then hang out in the comfy chairs at the London Drugs. I am totally not saying that.

But which line were we in? Carpal Tunnel Cashier line of course. With a heavy side dose of Dude with Unscannable Items and then for a bonus round we got to be The Till Closest to the Security System that Keeps Going Off / Oh My God is this Man Really Going to Strip Naked to Prove He isn’t Shoplifting?

“I’ve got a peaaaaaceful…..easssssssy feeling…”

“Mommy where are the crackers?”
“Right here.”
“Have we paid yet?”
“No, we have not. We are next in line.”
“What is that?”
“That is an ice cream freezer.”
“What is inside?”
“Ice cream.”

“..and I know you won’t let me doooooowwwwwwwwn,”

“What KIND of ice cream?”
“The cold kind.”
“Can I have some?”
“Not right now.”
“Why can’t I?”
“Because it’s winter.”
“It’s not FAIR.”
“Nope. It’s not.”

“…and I”m allllllllready standing…..on the ground..”

“I swear, it’s gotta be something in my jacket setting this thing off! Ha ha! Here, let me show you the inside of my jacket!”

“What’s the thing with the stripes?”
“That is a popsicle.”
“What does it taste like?”
“Sugar and fruit.”
“What kind of fruit?”
“All kinds of fruit.”
“Can I have one?”

Then I got a coffee from Starbucks which I don’t usually do but I couldn’t figure out how I was going to get the buggy in the down-the-street coffee shop that I like – it has a heavy door and opens inward and I think I would get looks if I left the children outside and also it would have been far too tempting to just sit inside and drink coffee and watch them watch me through the window.

Mean. I know. That’s why I went to Starbucks, where I risked it on the bold roast and it didn’t make my eyeballs shrivel up so I have newfound hope for Starbucks and their roasting style. I also snuck a cranberry lemon scone into my pocket (I didn’t steal it, I mean I snuck it past the kids) and…I just remembered it right now! Yay for blogging! It helps me remember my treats!

We got some fruit at the fruit store and some flowers at the flower store and a huge smiley faced beach ball at the dollar store and then we came home. As I was walking I put down my hood and my head got nice and misty. I drank my coffee while it was hot. And then “Southern Rain” by Cowboy Junkies popped into my head so I sang it all the way home.

Sadly we do not own that album and at first I could not find it on the Internet either (panic!) but then I did.