Author Archives: cheesefairy

How are your armpits? Give ’em a little swipe with your fingers. Shine a light in there; what do you see? I’ve got average armpits, I think. They are an unlit, moist place where I smear pit-stick once a day … Continue reading →

With “Desperate Housewives” on in the background – I am lightly pondering clothing. Considering Clothing: A memoir. We trekked out to Wal-Mart today because I love Dr. Scholls shoes and it’s the only place to get them. (Yes, I am … Continue reading →

Crustifarean. Those of you who know my last name may enjoy picturing me jamming like a lobster. Those of you who do not may also.

This morning on my brief foot-commute, I passed three men on three separate blocks smoking pipes as they walked beneath giant golf umbrellas. 1. What a great goddamn smell to brush past. So much better than expensive perfume and wet … Continue reading →

Am I the only person who has gone shopping for a raincoat and come home with a bikini? Happy February! This month rules, in part because it is short and brings us closer to spring, which is sometimes a happy, … Continue reading →