A good place to see some ducks in the city of Vancouver, without having to say “excuse me, I know these ducks” to crowds of families and old people with handfuls of stale bread, is at the strange river that flows North of the Superstore parking lot at Grandview Highway and Rupert St.(in the green area in the left corner of this photo.) There is the sidewalk that you can walk on so you don’t risk your life walking in the parking lot, and just beside it, there is a river with ducks in it. They are probably not as hungry as they said they were; I think they were just making a play for my natural sympathy for ducks, but there weren’t any people feeding them. People were just walking by, heading for the skytrain or heading up to Broadway to hit the liquor store. Bam. Liquor store.
Anyway, the ducks asked me to mention it because they don’t get a lot of visitors and they’re very nice ducks, just a little off the beaten path.
I found scissors at Superstore in record time. Usually, the things you know that Superstore sells but that you have never bought at Superstore take a long time to find. Like shoelaces. Impossible. They are too small to be found at a store so big and super as…well..you know. But the scissors – they were right there in the pen isle.
In other news, how much must it suck to be the two girls who work at the jewellery counter at Superstore? Not only does no one buy jewellery at Superstore (which could be a positive aspect, come to think of it) but they are trapped behind glass cases of jewellery. Plus, now that it’s almost Christmas, the jewellery counter has the additional strike against it of being located a mere few metres from the four-foot-tall singing Santa (like that but creepier)(plus, that one comes in Hispanic and African Amercian styles!) statue.
These things are everywhere: I saw one at London Drugs and/or Future Shop the other day. I think there might have been one at Pacific Centre Mall, too. They swivel and their lower jaws move up and down as tinny, loud, hideous Christmas songs (often sung by Children) come out. And they have eyes, but the eyes don’t blink. They just stare, as the Santas swivel and pretend to be singing.
Maybe there was a shipment of them and they were given to retail stores and the retail stores think they have to display them or no one will come to their store. Maybe they’re a signal for the mafia: only mob-run stores have them so if you don’t display your Santa, the mob will blow your shit up. I bet they come to life at night (the Santas) and run around the stores like the mannequins in Mannequin.
They should make a Christmas sequel to Mannequin. The Rock could be in it. He could play the no-nonsense mob boss with a heart of gold. And the Santa mannequins could be played by the boys of Sloan. And the store manager could be played by Nicholas Campbell. I walked by him yesterday in Gastown. He was wearing a nice hat.
