There are few things more terrifying than Kid Rock shrieking “Feel like making Loooooooooooove! TO YOU!” from the television. Bad Company indeed.
If Kid Rock was a cheese, he would be a cheeseball. Kind of gross and ugly on the outside, but on the inside – actually pretty good.
At 10:00 hrs, our intrepid hero makes his way via aged chariot from the hills of Suburbia to the ocean-side metropolis of Vancouver. He seeks a theatre. One theatre to show them all.
He sends word by Duckfone at 11:00 hrs. He has reached the end of his travel by chariot and will continue the rest of the way on foot. For sustenance on his journey, he has procured a BaconHamSandwich from Timmy’s. If he requires more nourishment, it will have to be NachoswithSpicyCheeseSauce and WateredDownCola.
Lying in wait beyond the GreatLineofGeeks is his destiny, his fortune. The suffering will be intense, but his heart will remain strong against fatigue. He has trained for this battle and will not see defeat this day. Only Victory: her sweeping score, her clang of swords, her grunt of death. A silent tear at the end, his shed blood. But now – it is just beginning.
Today, just a picture. This is us heading south on Boundary Road (the Vancouver side) at Hastings street.
King of the Hill, Da Vinci’s Inquest, Survivor Season Finale! Oh wait, I don’t watch Survivor. I heard, via my TV friend (no, he’s not in the TV, he’s just of the TV) that Survivor’s been renewed for like 5 more years? Can that be? Will there be a chilly cold Survivor? I think they should drop ’em all down at the South Pole where they need people to work and make them work there. Here’s a parka! Survive! See you in 6 months when the air isn’t so cold it freezes the helicopter propellors.
Except but OH there are no bugs there, and they have to eat bugs on Survivor, don’t they? Why is the finale on a Sunday? Now Survivor will be competing with live coverage of Saddam’s trip to the American Justice System. Or is he going right to Texas? (It was meant to be a routine prisoner transfer…) I don’t know. I’ll check in a few days when the fever has broken.
Moving along.
Stores where you can no longer purchase Brand New VHS tapes (with stuff already on them):
Future Shop
A&B Sound
Rogers Video
Some crap video store on Broadway where the sales clerk suggested I think about buying a DVD player. Fuck you, pimply video store clerk boy writing a screenplay for a Lord of the Rings Prequel in your head while you wait for someone to come in and ask your opinion about something. I will buy one when I’m good and ready!
Stores where you can buy Brand New VHS tapes with stuff on them but said stuff is mainly aerobics and teletubbies:
Chapters (had to take a shower after going in there, anyway. Creepy place, Chapters.) *
Army & Navy (worth checking out anyway – everything is $4.99 and if you have to have a DVD, well they’re $4.99 too)
Stores that list an “electronics department” on the 6th floor when in fact they mean “home furnishings:”
Sears
Stores where you can buy Brand New VHS tapes with stuff on them you might actually consider watching, including the one I was looking for:
Virgin Megastore! Who knew?
I used to hate Virgin megastore because:
1. It’s a Megastore. Why does it need to be called a Megastore?
2. It’s located at Burrard and Robson Street
a. where the Vancouver Public Library used to be before it was made magically into a replica of the Roman Coliseum and relocated nearer to the sporting arenas.
3. The first or second time I went into Virgin, I saw a Rick Astley album on the rack as I walked by. I picked it up and was horrified to see that they wanted $18.99 for it, presumably because it was an Import. Uh, Who Cares? Jimminy Crickets! Rick Astley sucks ass! He should be in the bargain bin for $4.99! I thought. (I still think.)
But somewhere along the line & over the years, I realized: this is what makes Virgin good. They don’t judge. To them, every import CD is worth somewhere on the scale between $18.99 and $100, depending on what it is. They don’t care if the music is considered good by a critic or by 50 million people: if they think even one person wants it, they will find it and sell it at a fair price. Of course there are exceptions to this. And some stuff is better priced elsewhere. But the principle of the thing is sound. That is not a pun. Shut up.
Somewhere in the world, there is a person who, 7 years ago, wanted that Rick Astley CD and wasn’t able to find it anywhere else. He or she probably did the same dance of joy that I performed the other day when, after a few days of fruitless searching, I finally found the thing I sought.
* Speaking of big retail book stores, I found this hilarious account of working at Barnes & Noble. All people who have worked in retail will enjoy.
I found the link through this blog where ed rants which is funny and chock full o dreamy goodness to keep you hopping around the internet for the better part of a day.
While I’m on about other peoples’ blogs, I also newly & really like Cup of Chicha and the bookslut.
