A Tip!

If, like me, you have no hot water in your suite this morning, take a passive shower by not carrying an umbrella and walking outside for about 15 minutes. Works like a charm.

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Heavy Rant Warning in Effect

Q: When is a loaf of sourdough bread NOT a loaf of sourdough bread?
A: When it is leavened with yeast and contains no sourdough culture.

Q: Is “Sourdough Bread: San Francisco Style” bread from Safeway sourdough bread?
A: No, it is not.

Q: How do you know?
A: Because, on a lark, I just read the list of ingredients printed on the bag containing said bread. The second ingredient is yeast.

Q: Who here thinks it should be necessary to read the ingredient list on a product called “Sourdough Bread?”
A: …

Q: Anyone?
A: …

Q: How does this discovery make you feel?
A: Irrationally angry. It makes me want to say “fuck” a lot and firebomb Safeway’s bakery.

Q: What will you do now?
A: Verbally abuse the little slave mice I keep in a box for specifically this purpose. And then, go to work.

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It’s Safe Here

The pink is over. Nice, it was, but only me for a moment or two.

I have figured out why Life Brand Dill Pickle Potato Crisps (in the tube like a Pringle but half the price) are so darn tasty. They taste like McDonald’s french fries. If you close your eyes – and I always do when I eat chips – OK that’s a lie because sometimes I eat chips and read at the same time – the dill pickle flavour mingles just so with the pressed potato product flavour and there is just a whisper of McDonald’s french fry. Plus they are impossible to stop eating. There is no fast-food fry in the world that can equal a McDonald’s fry, unfortunately. I do not wish to eat at McD’s yet when I attempt an A&W fry, I am always disappointed.

Witness: one co-worker came by my desk, commented “Those look weird. Hey can I have one?” and then ate half the container. He did give me a dollar, though. Another co-worker came by a few hours later and had one chip and then made this face, like the face when you remember the $20 you thought you spent but really hid in the side pocket of your jacket so you wouldn’t spend it which means you have $20 for beer! And he said, “Holy crap, these are GOOD!” and ate the rest of the tube. No dollar but that’s okay because the best part is the chips only cost $1.29! I know! Cheap like McDonald’s french fries!

I’mlovinit.

An eventful day! I resurrected an old hotmail account. I found another cheese blog and I had big, like old Alanis Morrisette big, hair all day and didn’t put it in a ponytail once. I just let it fly. It was just that kind of day.

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Real Real Real

First, sorry it’s still a pink wonderland in here. I haven’t had time to implement a less jarring colour scheme.

So what happened to Jesus Jones? I grabbed their 1991 breakthrough, “Doubt” from the CD shelf this morning and am now wading through the 12 tracks and Blech. So profound when I was 17…yet now, so much whiny drum machine tripe. Apparently, they’re still around. Now you all know too.

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Just for You, on Pink Day

A story on office rules about footwear. Cracks me the hell up.

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