Q: When is a loaf of sourdough bread NOT a loaf of sourdough bread?
A: When it is leavened with yeast and contains no sourdough culture.
Q: Is “Sourdough Bread: San Francisco Style” bread from Safeway sourdough bread?
A: No, it is not.
Q: How do you know?
A: Because, on a lark, I just read the list of ingredients printed on the bag containing said bread. The second ingredient is yeast.
Q: Who here thinks it should be necessary to read the ingredient list on a product called “Sourdough Bread?”
A: …
Q: Anyone?
A: …
Q: How does this discovery make you feel?
A: Irrationally angry. It makes me want to say “fuck” a lot and firebomb Safeway’s bakery.
Q: What will you do now?
A: Verbally abuse the little slave mice I keep in a box for specifically this purpose. And then, go to work.
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