Friday!

My dudes. All the work poop is over (KNOCK WOOD) – hopefully no one will have wiped anything on my desk between yesterday at 4 and today at 8. I learned some valuable lessons about myself and developed more fascinating theories about the people I work with, for and against. I also learned about this device, the annoy-a-tron from Thinkgeek. And I quote:

The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron would be useless against an army of Snowbots, but it’s very effective at disturbing that guy in the sales department or your “friend” down the hall. With its thin design and embedded magnet for easy hiding, the Annoy-a-tron can be placed in a variety of locations. Select one of the three sound choices (2 kHz, 12 kHz, or alternating) and push the switch to the on position. Place it in a proper hiding spot and let the “fun” begin.

The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time ‘timing’ the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight ‘electronic noise’ built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are.

I know why Saint Aardvark did not tell me about this device before yesterday evening. He knows had he told me about them Monday, I would have bought a beowulf cluster of them, had them express shipped, watch as the crop of overpaid wankers (note: I am also overpaid but I am not a wanker) around me tried desperately to have countless meetings about nothing so they could hear themselves talk some more and sound wicked smart except they wouldn’t be able to hear themselves talk because of the beeping! and then they would all go nuts because they can’t do their jobs if they don’t get to hear themselves talk for at least 2 hours a day and then they would figure out it was me from the hysterical laughter from under my desk and they would kill me and my death benefits are in arrears because of the maternity leave, so fine. You win this round, SA. BUT YOU CAN’T CONTROL ME FOREVER.