Conversations

First leg of journey: bus travel

Dude at the bus stop: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure
Dude: Do you pay with coins for your busfare?
Me: No, I have a bus pass.
Dude: OK.
Dude (unfolding piece of paper from his pocket): There’s a place on Alexander where I can get a meal for a toonie
Me: I’m sorry, I have no money on me at all
Dude: Sure
Dude: I was supposed to meet a millionaire down here, see…
Me: Right
Dude: …And he never showed
Me: Enh – millionaires are assholes
Dude: Not all of them
Me: I guess not
Dude: When I’m a millionaire, I won’t be an asshole. Because I know what it’s like to have nothing.
Me: True
Dude: You have to appreciate what you have.
Me: Absolutely
Dude: Have a good day
Me: You too.

Second leg of journey: car travel

Trombone: MAMA
Me: Trom-bone
Trombone: Ma-MA
Me: Trom-BONE
Trombone: MA
Me: TROM
Trombone: MUH
Me: TRUH
Trombone: MAMAMAMA!
Me: TROMBONETROMBONETROMBONE!
Trombone: Dadoo.

Still on second leg. Almost home

Trombone (translated from the original Whine): Why aren’t we home yet? You said we were almost home! I want to go home! I want to walk! I want to play! I want to eat!
Me(Gritting teeth; very hungry): We’re almost there
Trombone: YOU SAID THAT TEN MINUTES AGO!
Me: Well, then that asshat cut me off and I had to sit through 2 more lights so it’s not really my fault is it
Trombone: Don’t care don’t care don’t care why can’t I get my shoe off I WANT MY SHOE OFF
Me: OK. Here. I took your shoe off.
Trombone: NOW I STILL HAVE ONE SHOE ON!
Me: Oh for –
Trombone: I HATE SHOES!
Me: You take that back or you’re walking home.

…meanwhile, inside my head…

Me: I hate my job.
Me: But you need the money.
Me: I could live on less money. Look how much money I have compared to the dude at the bus stop.
Me: Pshaw
Me: Look at it this way. If I stay home with Trombone, I will be able to make sure he is not an idiot.
Me: What do you mean?
Me: Think about Boss of a Boss of a Boss of a Boss. He is an idiot. As are all the bosses in between.
Me: Certainly.
Me: If I keep going to work, not only am I unhappy, but I am just enabling more idiots. If I stay home, I am influencing the mind of a future non-idiot.
Me: That makes sense.
Me: Sure it does.
Me: Hmm.
Me: Mostly because I hate my job.
Me: You can do whatever you want.
Me: Thanks.
Me: You’re welcome. Maybe you should take up kickboxing.
Me: Yeah?
Me: Relieve some of that tension.
Me: I don’t have time to take up kickboxing.
Me: You’d make time if it was important.
Me: Okay, you shut up now.
Me: ‘kay.