I’m Not Dead. Just Resting.

As happens more and more lately I am between blog topics. It’s so boring.

Also, the other day I poisoned myself with something from our fridge. It might’ve been the hot pepper. I don’t know. I woke up at 2:30 am and barfed. Then I spent the whole next day lying around moaning. Awesome! Because I don’t have hardly ANYTHING I want to accomplish in the next 10 days. So I can sure afford to take another whole day off for illness!

Do I have to put a cute little close-sarcasm-tag here or did you all get that?

See? Boring. And a little mean.

But I like to keep the oar in, so to speak. I like to stir the ocean of my blog now and again. If I don’t keep my toes dipped in the cold, cold water then it’s too hard to immerse my belly. So I’m returning to an old faithful that nobody likes.

(No, it’s not a meme.)

This morning I was struck aghast by a search string in my referrals.

Can going down the stairs on your bum induce labour?

When I was a kid I used to bump down the stairs on my bum. It induced hella carpet burn and I seem to recall some tailbone bruising as well. But ma’am if that baby isn’t ready to come out? It’s not coming out. Go have a glass of wine. Step away from the Internet.

In other news.

2 years ago:

Me: C’mon. Wouldn’t you like to move to Saskatoon?
Whoever I Happen to be Talking To: Are you out of your fucking mind?
Me: No, no, it’s cool there! There’s a river and art and the people are nice…
WIHTOTT: Yeah, it’s COLD and then it’s HOT and there’s mosquitoes and curling…
Me: The real estate is so cheap!
WIHTOTT: Not cheap enough, sister.

1 year ago:

Me: So, you really want to do it!
SA: Yes! Saskatoon is the answer! We will escape Vancouver after the crash and buy half of Saskatoon using our suitcases full of gold pieces!

Yesterday:

The CBC Radio: The cost of real estate in Saskatoon is up 40% now that rich investors from Alberta are buying it all up from under nice British Columbians’ noses! They who hesitate are lost, eh Bob?
Bob: I guess so. But Saskatoon? Whodathunk, eh?
The CBC Radio: That’s right, Bob. It’s The Next Big Thing.
Me: WTF?
SA: Goddamn it.
Me: By the time we leave here we’ll barely break even moving to Saskatoon.
SA: And you know that ain’t right.