Yesterday I received an email telling me I had won 413 thousand British Pounds in the UK BIG LOTTERY. What an awesome name for a lottery. Why mess around with clever titles. Cut to the chase. It’s big. Bigger than Donald Trump.
Speaking of Donald Trump, yes, I have been watching The Apprentice Los Angeles. I know I am the only one in the world who is watching it so I feel pressured to let you all know that last week’s reward for the winning team was to create a song with Snoop Dogg. Please let lame business people NEVER EVER EVER try to rap again. Snoop’s posse was all holy shit I know it’s Donald Trump and we’re on TV and all, but seriously can we kick these peoples’ asses? please Snoop? and Snoop was all Nope. I’ve got my reasons.
Speaking of mind-bendingly awful television, yesterday I turned on TYRA and got Jon Stewart instead. I think Jon Stewart is pretty awesome. But – and I feel ashamed typing this – where is my Crazy? I need my Crazy. Without my Crazy, how do I get to feel more sane? Jon Stewart does not help me feel more sane.
Speaking of Kill Me Now, I am Obviously Not Fit to Live on this Planet Amongst You, I watched 30 minutes of the first episode of the Pussycat Doll reality show. I watched until 12 of the 18 semi-finalists came down with pukey virus (no, I did NOT need to see actual vomit spewing from the mouth of a heavily made up teenager and splashing into a toilet bowl; I have been to the Blarney Stone [local Irish pub beloved on weekends by hoardes of college kids] on a saturday night, thank you) and then I realized that unless they bring on the finalists of The Apprentice to perform a freestyle battle against the finalists of The Next Doll I have no need to turn that show back on ever.
Finally, I have been receiving the plaintive cry of the emo-spam0r for a few days now in my comments (I suppose because this is what spam0rs think of bloggers, s/he keeps trying and trying with the same maudlin words):
I’ve basically been doing nothing worth mentioning, but so it goes. I’ve just been letting everything pass me by lately. I feel like a bunch of nothing. Maybe tomorrow. I haven’t gotten anything done for a while. My life’s been completely bland today, but pfft.
Apparently, if I go to emo-spam0r’s website, I can purchase all the hanky-panky-enhancing and mood-altering drugs I want, at a fraction of the retail price! Heal thyself, emo-spam0r! Pfft.
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