Little Mosque on the Prairie – Kill Me Now

A modern Muslim man is telling his mother, via cell phone in an airline check-in lineup, that he doesn’t care if his father thinks his new plan will “bomb” or that leaving the law practise is “suicide.” He is overheard by a older, white female who gasps, “Oh my!” Next thing you know he’s being pulled aside by the authorities and questioned about his possible connections to terrorism. When he raises his hand above his head to indicate that the cop interviewing him has missed a joke he made about Muslims having great senses of humour, the cop assumes he’s going for a weapon. Oh the hilarity! Because, you see, white people are SCARED of MUSLIM people. Especially at AIRPORTS. Get it? GET IT?

I mean, it could be hilarious. If there was even the slightest inkling of comedic timing and if the writing had left 2003 for ten minutes or so, bought itself a cup of coffee and thought about how to be current and sharp.

Unfortunately, the CBC has struck AGAIN with another shitty comedy. I cannot think of other words to describe it. I am slightly amazed, actually. How do they do it? With all the talented writers and actors in this country, how do they make shitty, overacted, overwraught, cliche-ridden shows again and again and again? I see what they were going for – a goddamn blind donkey drunk on plum brandy could see what they’re going for – it’s a fish-out-of-water-meets-a-fish-out-of-water-within-a-fishbowl-of-racism-in-a-post-9-11-canada. So, you know, keep the humour like dill Havarti. No, like a HAMMER made of dill Havarti. Creamy, boring cheese that keeps HITTING YOU and HITTING YOU. Stop it you damn cheese hammer!

Saint Aardvark said, “Like they sort of waved a bag of humour over the script and then put it back in the closet for when Chris Haddock needs it next.”

But come on. Does he HAVE to ask the Muslim woman who runs the cafe if there’s anywhere to get a good cappuccino in this town? Were all the Toronto jokes really necessary? “Why don’t we observe Ramadan in December – the month is shorter and there’s better shopping?” (from the white woman married to the Muslim man. A clash! Of cultures!)

Just wait until winter, when it snows in “Mercy, The Prairies” and the new, Torontonian imam has to drive somewhere! Hilarity will ensue but I will not be there because I will be riding my drunk, blind donkey to someplace funny.