Oh No They Didn’t

I watched Oprah today.

I kept watching, even after Bono joined her on stage in his Bono Glasses. (Dear Bono: STOP THAT.)

I kept watching, even when I saw that the show was about a new marketing campagin to help get AIDS medication to needy Africans.

[I argued with myself throughout; as Oprah took Bono shopping in her little red car, as they bought 10 of everything at The Gap and Armani because partial proceeds of each affiliated item are going directly to those Africans. My knee-jerk reaction to charitable marketing campaigns is why don’t you stop fucking consuming so much and just write a cheque but then I remind myself that people love to buy things. I love to buy things. Is it more likely that we could change an entire society of people who love to buy things or that we could USE their love of buying things to help people who CAN’T buy things.

Part of me wants to believe we could change and consume – and create specifically for charity-related consumption – less and give more.

But the other part knows that we probably won’t.

Still, I think that commercializing a cause can separate us from it, a separation that can result in more apathy. We buy the $20 breast cancer t-shirt, thus absolved of all responsibility, we move on. Does buying a red iPod help people understand the horror of AIDS in Africa? Or does it help people forget the horror of AIDS in Africa?

I remember an Oprah show from a few years back, when she was alerting the world to the horrors of fistula in Africa. I thought she was so brave to dedicate her whole show to something smelly and horrible. The images, the words of the women who had been helped, the faces of the doctors who were trying to work in deplorable conditions, all those things stayed with me. If someone at the mall had asked me to pay a dollar for a button to support victims of fistula I might have given it, but not been any more aware of how horrific it is. And I think understanding the horror of these situations is important. AS important as raising money as fast as possible so that the suffering may have relief? Perhaps not.]

I was actually changing Trombone’s diaper and it was one of those diaper changes where I let him kick naked for a while because he has so much fun and then he pees and I catch it in the diaper I have draped over him but then I have to get a new draper diaper and then he pees again and then I re-diaper him entirely and he whines because he likes to kick naked and hey guess what Oprah is still on.

Oprah is buying 10 red iPods. Oprah is buying 10 red Motorola phones with Kanye West. Oprah is not saying please or thank you to anyone. The lighting at the Gap isn’t as good as in Oprah’s studio. Oprah is buying 10 pairs of Armani red Bono Glasses. (Dear Oprah: DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM.)

And then Alicia Keys and Bono were to perform a song called “Don’t Give Up, Africa.” (I am making up the punctuation. That’s what it sounded like.) I thought: That is a nice sentiment. For Africa to not give up. I mean, Africa hasn’t shown any signs of giving up thus far, but I bet hearing those encouraging words from Bono and Alicia and Oprah (10! 10! 10!) really lifts their spirits. I wonder what the song sounds –

Well paint my rock and call me “Hermit.” Apparently this cover of Peter Gabriel’s “Don’t Give Up” is a year old already. Alas, for me, this is one of those songs no one else can perform, (even as a ringtone) so it set my teeth to chattering and my brow to furrowing. An arc of pee hit the change mat and Trombone giggled. An hour had passed and me with only a stack of damp diapers to show for it. I turned off the TV and made some chocolate chip cookies.