New Oath

Last week a news program was doing a story on Prime Minister Stephen Harper. A sound clip played of his swearing-in ceremony and as he spoke in his soft, frightening tones, I discovered my new favourite oath:

Stephen Joseph Harper!

For example:

Stephen Joseph Harper, it’s hot! or
Stephen Joseph Harper, would you stop flailing so I can fasten your diaper! or
Stephen Joseph Harper, has that baby really been sleeping for 7 hours?*

I think it’s just as catchy as my favourite oath from several years gone by: Sweet Chilliwack Corn!

* no, we don’t expect it to happen again anytime soon, but this morning when we woke of our own free will at 5:15 after 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, Stephen Joseph Harper, were we confused. **

“Did you feed the baby in the night?”
“Not unless I slept through it.”
“I thought I must have slept through it.”
(stare at baby, who is just beginning to stir)
“Huh.”
“Huh.”
“I have bigger ta-tas than Pamela Anderson!”
“Sweet Chilliwack Corn, you’re right!”

** and lest you curse us and our blessed luck, know that the 2 hours preceding the baby going to sleep last night were a gory scream-fest of epic proportions, where the catt almost succeeded in cutting off his ears with a small switchblade he keeps under his pillow for emergencies and SA’s parents went for a long walk which just happened to end at a Holiday Inn and haven’t been seen or heard from since.

Ha! I jest. But let’s just say we earned that 7 hours off.

And in the wise, experienced words of Sarah, It’s a good thing they’re cute.