Google Is Trying to Kill Me and Get Me Fired

Yesterday I discovered Google Video. It may be months after everyone else discovered it. Who knows. Last night, doing random searches on google video, we found a home-made video for the theme song from Mortal Kombat.

I love these boys because they are so in love with each other. And because of the dancing! And because of the part where they fight each other while spinning on roll-y office chairs! And especially because of the one boy who shouts “Mortal Kombat!” as though his bum is being pinched.

We also found a video of some teenage girls of Hispanic origin who made their own video for “Slave 4 U” (Slave 2 U? Slave of U?) by Britney Spears. But that one creeped me out a little, on account of the licking of the screen by certain girls and the rubbing of her own genitals by certain other girls.

There was one girl who amused me greatly because she was The One Who Doesn’t Fit In. There had to be 10 girls in this room, all of them gyrating very professionally and lip-synching and taking turns doing EXTREME CLOSE UPS with TONGUE and every once in a while, this other girl, TOWDFI, would wander by, smiling broadly and pumping her arms in the air like she was at an Aerosmith show. Then she’d wander by with a red santa hat on. Then she’d wander by, still smiling like a lunatic, doing some weird bump and grind that reflected her minimal viewing of MTV. She was inspirational.