Do Not Take Advice from The Man With No Hair

Checking out the news yesterday, scrolling through to get past all the death and dismemberment, I came across a little piece (in the Science section, naturally) about the Dangers of Sandals. According to the author, in the summertime, women often wear sandals despite the fact that, “…open-toed summer footwear can leave feet blistered, calloused, bleeding and sometimes exuding pus.”

Um.

Your feet should not be exuding pus. If your feet are exuding pus, step one is to stay home from work, not pose for a newspaper photographer.

The solution offered by podiatrists? Wear socks with your sandals. And I quote: “Podiatrists say the best way to avoid blisters is to wear sandals with socks. This former fashion faux pas is said to be the next big look in footwear.”

Um. Never, ever, ever will socks with sandals be OK. Got it? Except you, young Japanese girls with knee socks and jelly shoes. You’re fine.

I’m no podiatrist, but I do know shoes. And I know that there are plenty of options available to the fashionable among us. One of those options is attractive, comfortable shoes. I can tell you where to get some if you like.

Another option is NOT SANDALS WITH SOCKS.

Anyway, how likely is it if your feet are exuding pus (shiver) because you wear Jimmy Choos to work that you will turn around and say – aha! Lightbulb moment! I will wear socks with my $400 sexy Jimmy Choo shoes! That way no one will see my hideous feet! And their pus!

I knew a woman who wore Jimmy Choo shoes. Let’s just say she would have sprinkled hot sauce and cottage cheese on them and eaten them with a side of new potatoes before she would have put a pair of socks anywhere near them.

And I really hate the word pus.