It is November so this morning I went looking for my tape of The Black Rider, a Tom Waits album that contains, among other things, a brilliant song called “November.”
We moved to this house 15 months ago and have not listened to a tape in that time. I figured that retrieving the cassette in question would be an arduous task, at best, so I made a double pot of coffee and left the catt with instructions to call for help if I wasn’t back dangling a string in his face within two hours.
Dusty and sticky, the box with the cassette tapes also contained: a Tintin book (in French), a small stuffed crab (won at the PNE several years ago,) a telephone cord, a box of floppy disks from my old computer; the one that ran “8 in 1,” and lots of crumpled and stained photos.
I found the Tom Waits tape quickly. A minor miracle. I put it aside and dug through the rest of the box. The tapes were stacked neatly in rows. Mostly they were mixed tapes, with the occasional Pink Floyd and Nina Simone thrown in.
The thing that I love the most about mixed tapes is finding the ones I’ve forgotten about. There are the ones I made a couple years ago when I got a job that required me to drive at 6:30 am and a car that had a tape player (may they both rest in peace). They are called things like; “The best driving to Richmond tape ever!” and “Early morning kickass mix!”
There is a tape I made for my husband, back when he was just my friend – an “education in Led Zeppelin” that I’m sure he never listened to and which I taped for him from tapes because I never did (and still don’t) own any Zeppelin on CD.
There is one I vaguely remember making, called “Drunken Sober Mix.” There is Madonna, Chumbawamba and way too much Sinatra on that one. It made me feel dizzy so I turned it off.
Two annoying things about mixed tapes when they’re tossed randomly into a box:
1. trying to remember what the songs are on the tapes without cases (but then this usually ends in delight, see below)
2. a list of songs written on an orphan tape case and the list KICKS ASS and you remember making it/listening to it for the first time, but the tape that matches it is nowhere to be found.
The tape I am currently listening to has no case. It is called “Spring Spring Spring” on side one and “Spring Spring Spring Side 2!” on side two. It appears to have been made almost exclusively from CDs that belonged to a former roommate, The Third Prince.
Here, for posterity and in approximate order of appearance, is the track list for “Spring Spring Spring.” Enjoy.
Wesley Willis: It’s Against the Law
Sinead O’Connor: Success Has Made a Failure of our Home
Annie Lennox: Little Bird
The The: Love is Stronger than Death
Some band I don’t remember, asking “If I breathed in for you would you breathe out for me?” Sounds vaguely like Crash Vegas.
The Cure: Just like Heaven
Siouxie and the Banshees: Kiss them For me
Elvis Costello: All this Useless Beauty
Ani DiFranco My IQ
Ashley MacIssac: What an Idiot he is (where is Ashley MacIssac these days?)
Mojo Nixon: Don Henley Must Die
SIDE 2
Soundgarden: Big, Dumb Sex
Moist: Silver (this must have been a joke. I have always hated this song)
Fishbone: Everyday Sunshine (Aw YEAH!!!)
Leonard Cohen:Joan of Arc
Frank Sinatra:Fly me to the Moon (live. mmmm.)
Wesley Willis: Slow cars, Fast cars
Peter Gabriel: In Your Eyes(live. doublemmmmm.)
Paula Cole: This Fire
FABIO: Cinema and another 30 second piece I don’t remember the name of.
A couple of notes about Fabio. Yes, That Fabio. He made an album called Fabio: After Dark. It was several spoken word pieces with themes like “Love” and “Touching”. Fabio intoned and undulated over romantic-style soft porn music (baum chickachicka baum baum). “I like to take my beautiful lady to the cinema, where we can hold hands in the dark. I wonder, will she kiss me? Like that?”
There was one song he actually sang, it went, “When somebody loves somebody [Fabio says: dessssperately], Everything turns out so [natttturally]”
I miss my Fabio tape. I bought it for $1.99 at the dollar store at Kingsgate Mall. Fabio was the surprise at the end of every mixed tape I made. You have a bit of space at the end of each side, but not enough to put in a whole “real” song. 30 second spots fit nicely there. And they scare people.
A gay friend used a ball point pen to change all the “Fabio”s to “Fagio”s. To each his own. I took the tape to a party once and lent it to the host and I have not seen him or it since.
It was good to hear all those voices again.