I am Not the Craziest Person. Not Even Close.

For no good reason, I have never liked Florida. Until recent years (US election, Jeb Bush, l’il Elian) I had absolutely no evidence to back up my gut feeling about the Sunshine State. And this gut feeling goes beyond my general disinterest in states like Kansas and Iowa; for Florida I have always felt actual, unfounded revulsion. Exhibit A: When we drove across North America in 1999 we came within two miles of Florida and I beat Saint Aardvark unconscious with a beer can so that I could take the wheel and ensure we didn’t cross the Georgia/Florida border by mistake.

Yes, sometimes I overreact.

But honestly. Florida. Is everyone eating cocaine for breakfast down there? Does all that bayou release CRAZY GAS? Just look at Sugarbush Squirrel, a real squirrel who gets dressed up in clothes and poses for photographs. She belongs to Kelly Foxton, who is a country music, er, artist. And they live in Florida. (thanks, out-of-order-annie, for the link.)

You don’t have to go looking for proof. In the information age, if you wait long enough, proof comes to you.

I wonder if I should trademark that.