Who doesn’t know that it rains a lot in Vancouver, raise your hand?
Yesterday morning we did a fair bit of walking around our fair city. I wore the boots that have 8 inch soles and my waterproof jacket, purchased in Brandon, Manitoba for $19.99. It has a hood but it only comes to mid thigh. By the time we got to the first place, I was sodden like a oily duck. Only 4 more stops to go!
In the afternoon, with dry jeans and the addition of a brimmed hat, we headed out again to an appointment that APPARENTLY was scheduled for 10:30 am but I heard over the phone as 1 pm. Go figure; I am now letting go…letting go…inbreatheoutbreathe OK.
Once again, the incessant tears from heaven plus the angry wind off the water got me totally soaked and none too pleased about any of this so-called Weekend Fun Activity! So, because I hate umbrellas and all that they stand for (a whole other post) I decided I’d go check out some raincoats. You know: waterproof coats with hoods (this just makes sense to me) of varying lengths, hopefully without shoulder pads (because who the hell needs shoulder pads? I have never seen another human being and thought, “Gee, she’d be pretty but look at those tiny shoulders,”) and with some kind of, you know, style.
I am about to let you in on the great secret of our rain forest city. There are no raincoats to be had.
Well, OK, there were no raincoats to be had at the two major department stores and a few places in between. No, I did not go to Three Vets because I am not interested in sweating off my remaining precious bodily fluids under a suit of rubber.
There are GoreTex (r) jackets in pink and white and blue and green. There are verrrrry expensive, verrrrry beautiful wool coats that cost $600. There are unwarranted amounts of fake suede quilted jackets with fake fur hoods. In pink, mostly. To go with your pink Ugg Boots.
Of the three (3) raincoat type coats that I found, one (1) had shoulder pads and looked like it was left over from the ’40s (in a let’s-fight-enemies way, not in a let’s-pull-together-and-support-our-troops-by-attending-bandage-sewing-bees way), one (1) was not actually waterproof AND had a gathered waist AND was pink AND cost $160 on sale and the third (3rd) was a London Fog (aren’t they supposed to make only raincoats? All kinds?) midlength coat with a zip-out fleece lining and complimentary fleece gloves and a fleece scarf. And it was $200 on sale. It’s 12 degrees celsius! The cold snap has ended and now it is too fucking hot for fleece! What is WRONG with you people.
All I want is a coat like my corduroy coat except not corduroy, waterproof, with a hood.
That’s all I want.
And world leaders who act sensibly and without being inflenced by their genitalia.
And for Da Vinci’s Inquest never to end.
And for chocolate cake.
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