I didn’t realize until recently that there is an alternate mutation of of Reality TV – Daytime RTV. It’s like the two worlds have collided and everyone was too busy eating sushi and drinking flavoured vodka to notice.
I watch TV while I eat lunch. It’s just something I can do because I’m a half-assed slacker who doesn’t have a full time job. (go on, pretend you’re surprised) Usually I watch the news but I’m off the news and I’m also off the news’ schedule, as I am eating lunch at 1 pm. At 1 pm on weekdays, there is a one hour program called Starting Over. It’s about 5 or 6 women who want to accomplish a goal and need to be away from their families and friends to do it. They all move into a really nice house in Chicago, are led by two “life coaches” and spend their time bickering and hugging each other as they each attempt to achieve, or at least get closer to, their individual goals. As bizarre as it may seem, I actually understand this as a concept. It’s 1 pm, soap opera (and Vicki Gabereau) hour, and with the amount of people who are home, not working, for whatever reason right now (I mean, I know 17 at least!!), I’m not surprised that the RTV is going all daytime n’ shit.
The women are all different ages and some of them smoke and some swear and it’s all very tense. It’s just like you’re watching your old office job unfold before your eyes. Except they get to live for free in the house in Chicago. I love Chicago. I’m thinking maybe I should Start Over in Chicago. I could set an impossible goal, like being a ballerina, and then I could stay in the beautiful house until I was voted off..er, I mean, asked politely to pursue my impossible goal elsewhere and on someone else’s dime, just like now!
OK so no problem: RTV for chicks. S’alright. At 2 o clock I still had a couple of rice cakes to eat so I was flipping channels and on the channel for women (the actual WTN) found something called The Ex Factor. It’s a half hour show about (I’m presuming, as I will only ever see one episode) women who want to talk to their exes. Today’s episode filmed a woman as she met with first her first husband, to whom she was married for 3 years and then her second, to whom she was married for 6 years.
The first husband used to go out at night and not come home for days. She walked out on him, taking their two daughters and then spent the next 30 years wondering where he went when he didn’t come home for days. (apparently he doesn’t know either because he was drunk off his nut the whole time.)
The second husband had an affair and then they broke up and she wondered if maybe he was ready to date again and whether he was sorry he had the affair. Or something. Or she just wanted to see him.
That was it. Two stilted, bizarre conversations between this woman and the two men. When she asked the second ex whether he remembered the circumstances around their break up, he didn’t. She reminded him of the affair and he said he couldn’t really recall. Lady! It’s time to go!
If my marriage ever breaks up, I’m going to go to the trouble of finding out why at the time and then move on. I wouldn’t be able to wait 30 years to meet at Au Bar to find out why it didn’t work. But that’s just me. Everyone’s personal situation is different and difficult – of course I get that. But why does the actual show exist? I’m sure plenty of people wonder about their exes. Tracking down your ex is easier than ever with the use of google and if you really need the resolution, then it’s an excellent idea to find the bridge, cross the bridge, burn the bridge, whatever. But who’s the audience? Do you really think you’re going to see your own ex husband on someone else’s show? Do you even want that? Go live your life and then that gets to be your show.
Jay! Where are you? We never even had a chance!