Media and the Common Cold

I am home sick today with the start of a cold. Had to cut short the training for my new volunteer job with Options For Sexual Health (formerly known as Planned Parenthood.) I’m amazed, though, at how much I learned in 1.5 days about the shell I inhabit. For example, that the cervix is a tough little muscle that feels like the end of the nose! Except it would not tingle when I poked it, which my nose does. Not that I tried poking it. My cervix, that is.

Hello Internet!

Watching TV (my own this time), came across a Frontline story called The Persuaders and watched it for its last hour of two. Became fascinated with this guy, Dr. Clotaire Rapaille, a neuroscientist/marketing dude who does elaborate focus groups and research to figure out what our reptilian brains want so that he can advise corporations on the best way of marketing to us. He told a car company to make SUVs bigger because what the reptilian brain wants from an SUV is Dominance.

He conducts focus groups somewhat like counselling sessions, where the lights go out and everyone relaxes and gets into jungle mode and then the lights come on to simulate a brand new day and everyone writes down their fresh, new day thoughts. This kind of brain manipulation is so interesting to me; digging deep into peoples’ brains, their pasts, their dreams. There has to be a way for me to do this for a living instead of doing it while I’m earning my living. I’ve always thought the answer is to become a psychologist but I’m starting to think that I am just not as turned on by helping people solve their problems as I am by just poking around in their brains and figuring out how they work. Shameful confession buried in flippant blog entry. Huzzah!

The best part was when Dr. R explained how he helped a cheese company market to Americans. He said, “In France, the cheese is alive. You don’t put your cheese in the fridge because you wouldn’t put your cat in the fridge. But in America, the cheese is dead. So to market cheese to Americans, it has to be sealed in plastic, which is the coffin, and stored in the fridge, which is the morgue. Once you know this, it is easy to sell a new cheese to Americans.” He even offers a tombstone for American cheese. Damn funny.

Dr. Rapaille’s blog, unfortunately, is not as chock full of secret brain information as I had hoped. But at least he has one. A blog. And a big brain, too. And no qualms about using all caps.

By the way, “priorize” is not a word. I have now heard two (2) people use it in place of “prioritize” – when it was only one person I thought it was that person’s l’il tick but the second person was today – and when I squealed and explained why, Saint Aardvark said he was pretty sure either is correct but now that we have bookshelves eating our living room, his many varieties of dictionary are all extremely handy and I looked it the fuck up. So there. Kick in that extra syllable, people. You’ll not get to heaven any quicker by being lazy.

One last thing: who gets to declare moratoriums? Because I would like to get registered to do that? And then declare one on the television conceit where the voiceover (which is sometimes, but rarely, actually necessary) is accompanied by several camera shots of the person whose voice it is at his or her computer, typing. Then we get to read along with the voiceover as the character/writer/host reaches his or her profound conclusion.

I think maybe this started with Doogie Howser? (My knowledge of television is not as vast as it could be.) It Really Super Annoyed me in Sex and the City. Approximately one in five of the docs on The Passionate Eye also does it. And, you knew it was coming but I didn’t – today’s Frontline wrapped up with the guy who made the doc, Douglas Rushkoff, who of course also has a blog, typing at his giant, flatscreen iMac.

Doug: Perhaps the documentary was underwritten by Macintosh? Or maybe you want to emphasize that you actually wrote the whole thing, all by yourself? Mm hmm, I like the way my words look when I type them out, too. Much better than when I just speak them, because they’re permanent, I guess, and I can look at them again and again. But you don’t need to do both, see? Either let us read the words or let us listen to the words. We believe that you made the documentary; it’s got your fingerprints all over it.

And anyway, VOICEOVER IS DEAD LIKE AMERICAN CHEESE. There. I moratoriumed in all caps without a license. I feel so free!

I think I want bangs but maybe it’s the throat lozenges. They have medicinal ingredients.

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