Today is Day Twenty

With the exception of friday night, when my exhausted mind could not conceive of a more appropriate thing to eat than 8 pieces of pizza, I have had no cheese for 20 days. This means I have beat last year’s record of 17 days. Sort of – if you count Friday, it’s exactly 17 days again, but I don’t count Friday for many reasons, not the least of which is because on Friday at about 11 am, my face started itching. Why? Hell, if you can think of a reason, I’ll give you my left kidney. I figured if I was itchy anyway I might as well have beer and if I was going to have beer…well, you know how that party goes.

We’re moving in a week – my body had better accustom herself to beer and pizza in a hurry.

Currently I am surrounded by boxes and disassembled bookshelves. I love all my books and I don’t want to get rid of any, but I have managed to pick out a few to toss towards charity:

The Guide to Foot Reflexology (this is hard to do on yourself. I’m just saying.)
The Real World of Canadian Politics (has never, not once in the past 10 years been at all interesting. Did start me drinking coffee, but ‘at’s a different story)
Outtakes: Devotions for Girls (a joke birthday gift from a friend to whom, to be fair, I once gave a dancing hamster that sings “The Good Old Hockey Game”)
Great Love Poems (containing a predictable amount of Shakespeare and quite a bit of Walter Savage Landor. I had never heard of WSL but I think the greeting card industry has taken quite a bit from his oeuvre:

Proud Word You Never Spoke, but You Will Speak
Proud word you never spoke, but you will speak
Four not exempt from pride some future day.
Resting on one white hand a warm wet cheek,
Over my open volume you will say,
“This man loved me” – then rise and trip away.

ahem.)

Modern Canadian Plays (Mmm. Modern like “Billy Bishop Goes to War.”)
Psycho-Cybernetics (belonged to an ex-boss)
Do It! (Let’s Get off Our Buts!) (got halfway through but – no really – gave up. Way too many exclamation marks. It made me feel like a sun-bleached slug on a dead end road.)
Awaken the Giant Within (found on a bus bench, took as a sign, hated almost all of it. Makes me get Gowan in my head.)

Off they go, then. To greener libraries than mine.

To Sum Up:
Five: more nights in this house,
Four: more bus and skytrain rides downtown,
Three: giant plastic bins yet un-filled,
Two: more pieces of white melamine furniture to give away, ditch somewhere or set on fire,
One: more garbage day (aiiii!)

OH! Th’other day, some guy S. Aardvark works with? told him that Nickelback has done a cover of Super Bon Bon by Soul Coughing. And it’s true! Yack!

Like someone said about “Karma in the Life,” (go to the Samples page), which is Radiohead v The Beatles:

“It makes me feel, um, uncomfortable.”