This weekend, I did not do the following things:
– laundry
– work on my novel
– get drunk
– surf the ‘net
– apply for school
– think about my job. much.
– go running
– vacuum
– shave my legs
– formulate my personal mission statement
– listen to music
– sit silently on my back porch in the dark listening to the peacock that lives in the Dick’s Lumber Store down the hill a ways shriek like it is being forced to watch “She’s All That,” director’s cut, including Deleted Scenes and Outtakes
However, I did do the following things:
– help move a family of four to Nanaimo starting at 7:30 Saturday morning. Yessir, that’s earlier than the Indy.
– by filling a 5 tonne truck
– and scrunching my eyes and clenching my teeth over the Lion’s Gate Bridge and through the naaarrrrroow streets of the West End while a boisterous lunatic had the wheel and shouted out the window “I am a manly man! I am the manliest man!” to anyone and everyone, including some less-than-amused firemen in a bigger truck than ours who were trying to get up the street we were driving down
– and then we rode a ferry boat! and ate White Spot
– and looked at the sea
– and took the ha! your apartment is in the truck! and the truck is on the ferry! opportunity to rest
– met the new house
– sweated all over it
– sweated and lifted heavy boxes into it
– sweated and lifted heavy boxes and drank beer
– sweated and lifted heavy boxes and drank beer and tried not to cry because: think of the children!
– played some freeze tag in the cool grass of the back yard
– found the tooth fairy’s Magic Lair and got all my teeth back
– slept overnight in a tent so tall I could easily have jumped for joy in it and not hit my head had every muscle in my body not already been torn to smithereens thereby restricting my mobility to the strained – and not unassisted – lifting of my beer bottle to my mouth.
– got up early and rode in the truck some more
– also plus rode on the ferry again!
– returned the truck Three Hours Late and, despite this, only paid $75 extra, instead of the $300 we were expecting. Go to Budget for all your rental needs. They are very good people at Budget. They are the cream of the crop, they rise to the top. And we didn’t crash their truck! Yay!
– I had a very nice shower for the better part of this afternoon.
– and I did manage to buy some groceries – mmm, blueberries – and some boxer shorts that say “Rubber Ducky – Fun in the Tub!” on them
– oh, and I finished reading The Cheese Monkeys and had to physically restrain myself from starting it all over again it was that damn good. I loved this book. Maybe when I am less hot, I will explain why and how much. Let me just say, it’s not because of the cheese or the monkeys.
– I did eat my share of cheese this weekend. Just my share, mind.
So I guess it all equals out.